Gwyneth Paltrow’s New York pop-up Goop shop was robbed of $173,000 worth of merchandise. What do we think $173,000 of Goop stuff consists of? Like maybe two personal vagina steamers? (DListed)
A lot of people are comparing Donald Trump to Voldemort. JK Rowling does not think that’s funny. (Vanity Fair)
Jenna Dewan-Tatum’s dress reminds me of that time Zooey Deschanel put sexy underwear over her regular underwear. But, you know, the fancy version. (GFY)
John Stamos gave us all the holiday season gift of his butt. Maybe even better than his butt (probably not, though) are his answers in the spread’s (ha) Q&A about why he’s posing bottomless. (Spoiler: it’s for “attention.”) NSFW because butts. (Paper)
Winona Ryder is the new face of Marc Jacob’s beauty product line. I know Ryder’s face basically still looks like she’s 25, but even just the very idea of a woman over 40 being a beauty line spokesperson is damn cool. (Lainey)
Justin Bieber apparently saw a picture of a girl, thought she was super hot, then used the internet as his own personal Craigslist “missed connections” service. Because sure, what every girl wants is throngs of Bieber fans harassing her and creating fake profiles using her pictures. What do you think? Is he TRYING to ruin her life, or is he just willfully not using the thinking part of his brain? (Celebitchy)
Congratulations, Chicago area Hamilton fans. The rest of us officially hate you. (Mashable)
Prince is notoriously protective of his copyrights, and doesn’t allow his songs or live videos to be put up online. But when it came to his famous 2008 Coachella cover of “Creep,” Thom Yorke was quick to remind Prince that that’s not actually his song to copyright. Do yourself a favor and watch the newly re-released video. (NME)
And once you’ve watched that, why not spend 10 minutes learning how to build an igloo like a boss.
The “what ever happened to…?” story for the kid from Bad Santa is completely un-scandalous, and that’s why it’s awesome. (Uproxx)
Either there’s a second portrait hidden under the Mona Lisa, or this is the best viral marketing campaign for a new National Treasure movie. (IFLS)
The Coca-Cola Company tried to sell coke to Mexico with a racist ad celebrating the generosity and spirit of white teenager soda colonialists. Mexico responded with a strong “up yours.” (Mediaite)
In honor of Krampusnacht, CoffeeShopReader gave five stars to the novel Krampu the Yule Lord. This book isn’t the source of the recent movie, but maybe it should have been. This "exciting and well-paced" book features a struggling musician, Norse deities, child psychology, and Applachian West Virginia. What more could you want? (Cannonball Read 7)
Vivian Kane really doesn’t want to have to talk about the new Kardashian kid’s name. Please don’t make her.