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Happy Fat Tuesday, My Little Babe-raham Lincolns

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | February 12, 2013 |

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | February 12, 2013 |

Hello, my tender lovemuffins. We are blessed with two fancy days today:

1.) Today is Mardi Gras, aka, Fat Fucking Tuesday, aka, Melissa McCarthy Day if you’re Rex Reed because that guy can fuck himself. But don’t worry, you guys—it’s okay that he called her a “female hippo” because some of his best friends are bla fat. [Crushable]

2.) Today is Abe Lincoln’s birthday. As someone born and raised in Springfield, IL, I know a thing or two about Abra-booboo, so it’s a very special day to me and my peeps on the plains. This is old, but here are some outstanding photos of Lincoln being flawless with flawless hair. [Mental Floss]

Is our former president not your favorite Lincoln? RACIST. Here’s an interview with your SECOND favorite Lincoln, Andrew, not knowing what an iPad is called because he’s adorable. [AdWeek]

Little Adeline thrashing to Bad Brains warms my heart cockles [as I write this, I’m attempting to throw horns and somehow turn them into a heart shape and I might break my fingers] and she is the child my Metallica-adoring mom desperately hopes mine becomes. [Gawker]

HuffPo has a list of the worst foods for your heart. Your mission: eat ALL OF THEM today because it’s Fat Fucking Tuesday (see above). [HuffPo]

If that doesn’t sound appetizing (UNAMERICAN) then how about you just skip ahead to Valentine’s Day and enjoy some wine and chocolate. BUT DON’T DO IT WRONG BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG. Sigh. So many nights I’d sit alone and eat Dove dark chocolates and drink red wine and not only was it sad, it was incorrect. Here are the proper pairings for delicious treats. [Serious Eats]

Here’s a gallery of noir superhero posters and these are AWESOME. [Unreality]

With sexy, sexy promises like “Walking is quite a popular activity in the summer” no wonder the Finland tourism industry is booming! [The Hairpin]

Jessica Chastain gets asked about rumors that she hates Jennifer Lawrence, and answers in the best way possible. She is a superior being. [Celebitchy]

“Psych” is canceled?! :( Aw, it’s my favorite show I largely ignore and don’t really keep up with. [Uproxx]

Finally, do you want to share a hilarious viral video with all your friends, but you’re friendless and make questionable hair decisions, so you need to share them with your co-workers? DO THESE THINGS. [Clipnation]

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