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gwyneth-paltrow-ski-trial-verdict.jpg

Gwyneth Paltrow Won Her Ski Trial: Hail, Team Ozone Butt!

By Mike Redmond | Pajiba Love | March 30, 2023 |

By Mike Redmond | Pajiba Love | March 30, 2023 |


gwyneth-paltrow-ski-trial-verdict.jpg

Presumably because of a steady diet of bone broth and various steams and vapors fired up her orifices, Gwyneth Paltrow has won her ski trial that’s been an abundant source of uncut Goop for the past week. A jury determined that retired optometrist Terry Sanderson ran into Paltrow at a Utah ski resort and not the other way around as he claimed in his $300,000 lawsuit. Per her countersuit, Paltrow has been awarded $1 and legal fees. She will reportedly spend the dollar on a single sprig of basil that she will lightly sniff, providing enough nutrients to last her until the coming Easter. (NBC News)

Lainey’s faith in Keanu Reeves remains unshakable as he tells PEOPLE about his last moment of bliss. (Lainey Gossip)

Emily Ratajkowski’s ex-husband is in a world of sh*t. (Dlisted)

Good to know, Margaret Atwood. Um, thanks? (Celebitchy)

From Jen: Spoilers, but also doggos. “The Very Good Boys of John Wick, Explained.” (GQ)

Fox News is taking Donald Trump’s indictment well. (Rolling Stone)

E3 wasn’t cancelled. It was killed. (Kotaku)

From Roxana: An Oral History of The Critic. (Cracked)

The Jonathan Majors texts raise more questions than answers, so no, there won’t be a “Crow Eating Contest from all the usual self-righteous types.” Hi, I read the comments. (Jezebel)

When you’ve lost Catturd, you might as well pack it in. (Mediaite)

From Petr: A man named Jacob Garlick bought the Flatiron Building at a public auction last week. This week he just… didn’t make the downpayment. (Hell Gate)

After a reading by the author, Gloria Amescua, guest reviewer Terry T was excited about Child of the Flower-Song People, a biography of Luz Jiménez. “As a retired librarian, I can still remember my college professor saying that if you want to learn about something, it is good to start out by reading a children’s book on the subject.” Who do you wish more people knew about? (Cannonball Read 15)

From JoeK: This clip of Georgia Tech’s football coach pleading for action on gun violence is pretty powerful: