Get This Man In Your Box. Your Mailbox, Sickos.
Greetings and salutations my darling hoopleheads and c*cks*ckers. If you act quickly, you can get the Olyphantastic series “Deadwood” at an extraordinary discount. Do it now lest Swearengen call you that banned Paj*ba w*rd. You know the *ne. (Amazon)
How does my favorite Irate African-American Female celebrate Black History Month? With Star Wars and “Saturday Night Live,” of course. (Angry Black Lady)
Oh my stars and garters, ::bats eyelashes:: this link wench just doesn’t know a thing about sports, but she does want to cover these NFL soccer jerseys in her love spackle. She may even love them more than word clouds! Dearest, darling paleolithchick that’s four shots and a drink by your Pajiba Love Drinking Game rules. I do hope you’re playing. (Imgur)
This kicky video of American TV shows done in miniature is a promo for a Belgian cable station. My burning question: Belgium is just now getting “The 4400?” Better yet, why is Belgium getting “The 4400” at all? (Laughing Squid)
Okay, you little purloiners and cutpurses, this is my bad. I blinked and missed part of the freshest Lindsey Lohan drugbacle and now I’m hopelessly lost. She stole a necklace? She stole two? There’s video? Her assistant did it? Celebitchy attempts to break it down for us but it’s more convoluted than a Maupassant story. ERUDITE’D. (Celebitchy)
Okay, either I’m intoxicated after that round of the PL Drinking Game, or these “light paintings” are supremely and objectively cool. He does them without any photoshop! What kind of wizardry is this? (Dennis Calvert)
Were you frozen in carbonite yesterday? Nursing a nasty case of hibernation sickness today? I certainly hope not, my dear nerfherder. But if that is the case, you missed this adooooooooooorkable VW commercial that flew around the web in under 12 parsecs. OK, I admit, that last one was Forced. (Fashionably Geek)
The long national nightmare is over, you can now bake Girl Scout Cookies at home. You hear that, Scouts? You little beret-wearing, cookie-withholding fascists? I’m done hoarding boxes in the freezer for the lean, Thin Mint-less months. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME! (Seattle Weekly)
I’m relenting on my “No Cute Animal Links” policy today because it’s Chinese New Year. Gōng xǐ fā cái, hóng bāo ná lái! (I did that for you, lone Mandarin reader. It took me minutes to Google, so I hope you enjoyed it.) All right! Here they are! Bunnies, bunnies, they must be bunnies! Ormaybemidgets. (Buzzfeed)
Due to the digital mastery of our very own hh we are now quite familiar with the great works of Nicholas Cage. Those helpful little monkeys over at The Shiznit, have broken the Cageian oeuvre down even further into a handy matrix. Behold, my little graphing calculators, the x-axis is labeled “Mental” and the y-axis is labeled “Rubbish.” I do love the Brits. (The Shiznit)
So, The White Stripes broke up yesterday. Uber bummer, right? On the plus side, they said, in their official press release, “The White Stripes do not belong to Meg and Jack anymore. The White Stripes belong to you now and you can do with it whatever you want.” Um, whatever I want? Alright Jack, baby, don’t fight the moonlight. Dear gentle readers, please look away whilst I seduce the less languid Stripe. Here, crank up this song and don your clingiest red t-shirt.
And, finally, some jackholes in Congress are attempting to redefine rape as it pertains to abortion rights. Check out what the perpetually adorable Kristen Schaal had to say on “The Daily Show” last night.
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|
|Rape Victim Abortion Funding|
Joanna Robinson is wondering if, after beseeching readers to follow her on Twitter, she is then obliged to actually be worth following. She may have made a huge mistake. Give her some twit wit tips @quiyourJRob or [email protected]