Gadzooks! Who Did Kate Beckinsale Nail To Get Cast In Total Recall? Oh, The Director's Her Husband? I See.
I never know how to hail you, gentle readers, because I’m uncertain as to what time of day you’re flipping through the webs. Well, I’ll cover all my bases. Good afternoon, good evening and goodnight! Mr. Jim Carrey will be joining the season finale of “The Office.” Are you still watching? Are you digging on what Will Ferrell is doing? Do we even care who will replace Steve Carrell when he leaves? (The Wrap)
I catch a lot of flak, my testy tech-heads, for my ancient dumbphone. Well, you cleverphone users, you, did you know your iPhone has been tracking your every move for the past year? Who’s laughing now?!?! Oh, still you? You’re watching a funny youtube video on your phone? DAMNIT, LET ME SEE! (Technolog)
Speaking of clever things, apparently the brainiacs at Brown University had nothing better to do than make lame Harry Potter jokes at Emma Watson when she tried to participate in lecture. If this story is true, I take back all the bad things I ever said about Watson, including those cracks about her stupid hair. Even if it IS undeniably stupid. (Fark)
I’ve never been a huge fan of reality television but that’s because no one ever told me about the existence of “Whisker Wars.” Can you imagine all the pomade these men must go through? I hope at least one of them is a Dapper Dan man, damnit. (Warming Glow)
Dustin is pretty head-over-ass for the up and coming flick Bridesmaids, and I have to admit I have a huge lady crush on a lot of the talent involved. The actresses did a spread for Harper’s Bazaar and while I’m not the biggest fan of the Bloodsucker Red lipstick they all seem to be sharing, I do love a good Abbey Road pose. (Evil Beet)
Speaking of bloodsuckers, the toothsome Kate Beckinsale has just won the lead in the new Total Recall film opposite Colin Farrell’s Quaid. Annnnnnnd her husband’s directing. I know my love of Underworld puts me in the minority, but I mostly love it because as a vampire Kate isn’t allowed to be as pumpkin-skinned as she usually is. Isn’t she prettier when paler? Yes. (Celebitchy)
Out of the mouths of babes, a sophisticated review of the deficiencies of the MOMA from a little girl. I agree, little one, I agree. Rawr. (Gothamist)
See my film love, Jurassic Park, is tailor-made for the video game crowd, but what if these classic films got the 8-bit treatment? I’d play “It’s A Wonderful Kung Fu Challenge” all day long. (Cracked)
It seems there is a neverending wealth of sweet nerd shirts to keep our torsos toasty until universe ends or there’s a biological meta-crisis or something similar. My two favorites this week are this “Live Fast, Die Red” shirt and this boss “Piece and Serenity” one. Would that my t-shirt budget were as neverending. (Also, would that this hoodie were a time-hoodie.)
Hey Doctor Who-heads…are you ready for Saturday’s premiere? I’ve been watching old episodes all week in preparation. NYMag has an adorable interview with the cast and some shots of them playing pinball…making The Who/Tommy/”Doctor Who” jokes both inevitable and too easy. Additionally, here’s a video from a little while back of the cast reading celebrity tweets in dubious American accents.
I know you’re all very very saavy and have likely already seen this Little Thor parody commercial, but it’s too adorably bad-ass not to share. Suck it, tiny Darth.
And should I leave you this Friday afternoon/evening/night with a video of JGL and Conan O’Brien headbanging in wigs!? Is that even a question? Does it even deserve a question mark let alone an interrobang?!