Filthy Dirty Greasy Chris Hemsworth Would Like to Have a Beer with You. In Your Bunk.
Last week, Padma Lakshmi released a Emmy For Your Consideration ad that basically implied, “NOMINATE ME AND I’LL LET YOU LICK MY BODY.” I thought I’d have some fun with that and come up with 10 more For Your Consideration Ads that Shamelessly Sold Sex to Pander to Emmy Voters. (WG)
Guess who is kind of but not really leaving “The Office” to go work with his best friend who is totally not his girlfriend but, man, they spend a lot of time together, and if they were a couple they would totally be, like, the fifth most adorable real-life television couple in the world? (TVGuide)
While you’re all still celebrating the life of Nora Ephron, I encourage you to head over here to read one of her old essays, “A Few Words About Breasts.” It’s breastacular! (Esquire)
I got a little miffed this morning when The Daily Mail rudely made fun of Sean Bean’s paunchy belly and Sharon Stone’s cosmetic-free face. So, I was like, “F*ck that. I”m going to find out who wrote these pieces and make fun of her.” Her name is Georgina Littlejohn, and unfortunately, she doesn’t give me much to work with except slightly crooked teeth.
I still remember how angry TK was when it was announced that Tom Cruise would be taking on the role of Jack Reacher in the One Shot movie (This Is Why Hollywood Deserves To Be Devoured By Rabid Lampreys) and TK’s assessment that the role should’ve gone to Dwayne Johnson, who better fit the body type of the ex-military lead in the novels. So, I got a good laugh out of the first image of Cruise as Reacher. That doesn’t look right, does it? He’s so wee! (Via Collider)
I’m linking to this video about a man who cured his boner droopiness by drinking his wife’s breast milk not to inform, but to see how long you can watch the video before you’re overwhelmed by disgust. On my computer, it’s been stuck at the :35 second mark all morning. NO MORE. (Buzzfeed)
There are actual, real-life men who are so insecure with themselves that they visibly gag when asked if they’d go see Magic Mike. Jesus, dudes. Get over yourselves. TRUST THE THONG. (The Playlist)
I like Seth Rogen. A lot. But his laugh-face has always made me a little uncomfortable, so the thought of watching this supercut devoted to just that made me as squeamish as those insecure assholes who gag at the thought of watching Magic Mike. (Film.com)
There will be not one, not two, but THREE sequels to Avatar, and Sigourney Weaver is signed to all three. (Movieline)
Good news, Democrats: Not only do Americans think that President Obama is better equipped than Mitt Romney to deal with an alien invasion, but in the latest polls, he’s also edging ahead in the swing states. (Poltico)
But don’t worry: Mitt Romney will win back voters by staring at each and every one of them longingly. (Buzzfeed)
Chris Hemsworth is on the cover of GQ this month, and I just want to know what he lifts to make his arms look like that? BUILDINGS? (Celebitchy)
The producer behind Van Helsing says that the reboot will be “grounded in reality.” Funny, I don’t recall a reality involving monster hunters trying to kill Draculas, nor do I recall a reality where a Van Helsing reboot was wanted. (Slashfilm)
Here’s a useful post for stand-up nuts: 5 Awesome Comedy docs. I can vouch for the Bill Hicks one. (Unreality)
You may have noticed an ad for Trivi.al on the bottom right of our site. The app was actually co-funded by a close friend of mine, an e-commerce giant, the guy who (unknowingly) put a lot of money into Pajiba in the early days when we both owned the site (remember those ads on GoFugYourself? He paid for 40 percent of those). If you like trivia, it’s a fantastic, addictive trivia app, and I’m not just saying that because he and his parents basically saved me from a life of poverty, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. It turns, out, too, that one of the guys from The Film Stage helped to develop it. Check it out. (Trivi.al)
Finally, this video is amazing, but if you click on it, be ready to give up the next 14 minutes of your life. One joke from every single episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.