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Don't Try Your Nazi Charm On Me, Fassbender. If This Is True, We're Through.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | May 11, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | May 11, 2011 |

I have a question, my gorgeous ghouls, how early is too early to plan your Halloween costume? Is now too early? Cause I’m pretty enamored with the idea of dressing as “Parks and Recreation” curmudgeon Ron Swanson. Wear a moustache, snark at people and eat these bacon meatballs all night? I see no downside. Well except for that massive coronary that will greet me on Nov. 1. (Pioneer Woman)

If it turns out my darling Michael Fassbender impregnated January Jones, well, I’m going to have a massive coronary anyway. My only love b*ning my only hate? Too early seen unknown and known too late! (Celebitchy)

I’m sorry, my loves, did I just Shakespeare you? Did I spray my doublet and hose all over your nice clean monitor? I apologize. However, while I’m being disgustingly erudite, let me just get this out of the way. Here’s a great list of 40 literary terms you should know. There are a lot of goodies on here including one of my my favorite words, sobriquet. (Centered Librarian)

You know who else is feeling rather cultured and erudite today? The Googles. They have a fantastic homage to choreographer Martha Graham on their main page in honor of her birthday. You can check out the video as well as learn a bit about the artist at his website. (Ryan Woodward Art)

But you, my darling Pajibans, are not just cultured, you’re pop-cultured. That’s why I know you’ll enjoy not only this great breakdown of some of “Community’s pop(POP)-culture references, but also this truly tubular list of why 1989 was the greatest year in television history. I was skeptical going in, but by the time they got to “American Gladiators,” I was a true convert. NITRO! (11 Points)

Speaking of American Gladiators, how about the SEAL Team 6 that took down Bin Laden? I was called out this weekend for cracking (un)wise about how many Navy officers will claim to be SEAL 6 just to score free drinks. Someone frostily told me Navy officers are more honorable than that. To him I say, in my most mature tone, TOLD YOU SO. From a pastor no less! (Penn Live)

Speaking of tall tales and religion, please read this fascinating piece about a company run by atheists who offer to take care of the pets of the faithful come The Rapture. That’s right, Don Bluth lied to you. Turns out NO dogs go to heaven. (Hobo Trashcan)

In my pinko commie heathen liberal opinion, a lot of the people involved in this story should be Left Behind as well. A young cheerleader has been kicked off her squad for refusing to cheer for the athlete she says raped her. The story is more complicated than that so I will let the article do the talking. (The League of Extraordinary Ladies)

In cheerier (if wholly fictional) high school sports news, have I convinced you to watch “Friday Night Lights” yet? It is, I swear, as good as I’m saying it is. One of its finest elements is the soundtrack provided by the great Explosions In The Sky. They have a new album out and once you’ve read this review of it, listen to some of the tracks. I’ve been listening all morning. It’s great music to write by. (Audiosuede)

Hipster baby indie darlings Pompalmoose, on the other hand, are detrimental to my productivity. Here they pay homage to that other productivity killer, Angry Birds.

Finally, my own hipster baby indie darlings, according to Buzzfeed, Minnesota is the most Hipster state in the U.S. Hmm, they make some good points, but could a faux lumberjack hipster do this?

Joanna Robinson doesn’t really know what the term “like a boss” means. Is it about Bruce Springsteen? Regardless, that dude chopped wood like a boss. Email! Twitter!

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