Does Tilda Swinton Have New Competition for the Title of the Most Heebily Jeebily Attractive Woman in Hollywood?
You will absolutely never believe how effective a one-minute series of stock photography images can be in yanking at your heartstrings. You have to see this brilliance to believe it. (Unreality)
I can’t look at Tom Hardy these days without developing a sympathetic case of the hives. I hope it’s a really good part for which he’s growing that bushy varmint on his face. (Celebitchy)
It’s not too late to weigh in on WarmingGlow’s Funniest Character of the Network TV Season, but it’s probably too late to change the results. Guess who took the crown by a wide margin? It’s not Ron Swanson. (WarmingGlow)
Oh, and dude! Dude! Dude! Have you heard about “Bullet in the Face,” the Eddie Izzard show coming out in August on IFC being described as the “most violent comedy in television history?” There will be hilarious beheadings! (WG)
I really do love how invested Tom Cruise is into his Rock of Ages role, but really, Tom? Pistol tattoos aimed at your junk? I’m pretty sure Cruise is scratching a fetishistic itch with this role.
This insanely awful woman steals money from a nine-year-old Girl Scout, and after she’s caught, offers up this excuse while sipping on her goddamn frappuccino: “Money’s money, I mean, I feel bad it was from a nine-year-old girl, but there was $150 in that envelope and I wanted that money and it was fine.” It only gets worse from there. (Uproxx)
Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate puts Nutella on her bagels every morning, and I find that disgusting, but not nearly as disgusting — or transfixing — as this use of Nutella. It’s a hazelnut horror show. (Videogum)
I love that George R.R. Martin compares “Game of Thrones” to the NFL. I love even more than he compares the Lannisters to the Patriots. Does that make Belichick the Joffrey of the NFL? I think it does. (Vulture)
TheOtherGreg sends along this article from The Atlantic, and I’m just going to go ahead and vehemently disagree with the thesis: “10 Years After It’s Premiere, “The Wire” Feels Dated, and That’s a Good Thing.” P-Shaw! (The Atlantic)
Lily Cole — who is in Snow White and the Huntsman — has an interview with Esquire out, which I only mention because of the photo slideshow. I thought that the few photos I’ve seen of her were taken at a certain angle to maximize her creepy-attractive qualities. Nope. I think that’s just her. Porcelain doll-ophobics (or pediophobics) should avoid. (Esquire)
The Golden Trailer awards were announced, and the winner is … it’s not too hard to guess. (Movieline)
What? The Expendables as a TV series? Who are the old-man television counterpoints to The Expendables cast? Huh? Jeffrey Tambor? Oh, on second thought: Green light this f*cker. (Slashfilm)
Here’s a list of 10 contemporary authors we’ll still be reading in the future. You know what? I think Eggers and even John Irving should have a place on this, and I also think that having Doris Lessing on it gives to much credit to our future generations. (Flavorwire)
It’s official now: Green Lantern will come out as gay. What does this mean for R-Squared’s Green Lantern 2? I hope it means Green Lantern and Aquaman finally settle down together in a nice green clam under the sea. (EW)
Our friends over at FSR believe that the Internet won’t read thoughtful essays. My take? Use the right cleavage-or-ab baring header photo, and the Internet will read your doctoral thesis. It’s a give and take, people. Meanwhile, here’s 14 Great Moments of Foreshadowing in Film. (FilmSchoolRejects)
I ran across this post — People Being Massive Jerks for No Reason — at about 5:30 this morning, and basically fell into its trance for about a half hour. I couldn’t look away (here’s an example below). (Buzzfeed)
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