The past week has seen two high-profile stand up comedians — Dane Cook (FilmDrunk) and Aziz Ansari (Vulture) — bomb spectacularly and one — Tracy Jordan — collapse on stage. (FilmDrunk) I just love that Cuba Gooding, Jr., of all people, had to save Aziz Ansari from an unruly crowd.
Sterling Archer Draper Pryce is the greatest TV mashup in the history of all time ever of today. The idea of Christina Hendricks saying, “I’m so wet you could drown a toddler in my panties” might have just bent the Internet on its axis. (Uproxx)
Fact: All black women look the same. Proof: (Warming Glow)
Back in the day, there was a “Daredevil” and “Black Widow” series in development for television, and guess who was tapped to play Black Widow? David Bowie’s then wife. I’ll give her this: She looks better than Scarlett Johansson in the role. (The Mary Sue)
In the wake of Lana Del Rey’s “SNL” performance, here’s the 7 worst musical performances in “SNL” history, a list I wanted to curate but my mind went blank after Ashlee Simpson. All these, however, ring bells. (Screenjunkies)
No big deal, but here’s “Where the Wild Things Are” as read the way it was originally intended, by CHRISTOPHER F**KING WALKEN. (Curious Brain)
You like the above photo from Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows? Because there’s another one with Michelle Pfieffer over on (Ropes of Silicon), and if you squint, you can even spot His Royal Baby Goose in a still from Gangster Squad.
When you watch Haywire — and you should — it’s difficult to escape the thought that Gina Carano would make one hell of an awesome Wonder Woman. That thought has now turned into a full-fledged rumor. She would make an excellent companion to Nicolas Winding Refn’s direction. MAKE IT HAPPEN. (Moviefone)
In my review of Underworld Awakenings last week, Pinky McLadybits created a new category of folks who love both the Underworld and Resident Evil franchises: The Fancy as F*ck Club. I hope to one day be initiated into that club, but I think that Statham movies should be included. Here’s the poster for his next flick, Safe. (Geek Tyrant)
When people interview Errol Morris, I often wonder if he just stares at the interviewer until the interviewer answers his own questions. Here’s a fantastic interview with the director. (Dave Chen)
Did you guys hear Steven Tyler’s National Anthem yesterday? Here’s a suggestion: Don’t. (Celebitchy) Oh, and speaking of Steven Tyler, Jim Carrey’s daughter auditioned on “American Idol” last week. Even if you didn’t know it was Jim Carrey’s daughter, the teeth are a dead give away. (YouTube)
Rape jokes are all the rage in televised sitcoms this season, but there’s one thing all these sitcoms have in common: They’re terrible.
Nothing follows rape jokes better than a bear who walks like a human. IT WALKS UPRIGHT, PEOPLE.