Greetings my little (I mean very little…preferably tiny) loin cloths and oiled pecs, this sweet poster on “How To Steal Stuff” loses all real world applicability by suggesting you enlist the aid of a falcon(Mordecai?) when everyone knows that a pair of ferrets are the best and most larcenous pets. Or, has not everyone seen The Beastmaster eleventy billions times? (the Whoa!)
Speaking of furry sidekicks, hav-en’t you always wanted a Woo-KIE? Well I have, and I would hang this close-up portrait of Chewie on my wall in a heartbeat. Check out the rest of the gallery while you’re at it. (Unreality Mag)
Other things I want on my wall? Any single one of these mind meltingly bizarre Polish film posters. (Film Drunk)
The Music Festival I Secretly Have Always Wanted To Attend, Bonnaroo, has announced their 2011 line-up. Some of the bands are really exciting (Gogol Bordello??!! I’m listening to them right now!) but who the crap is Arcade Fire? (Bonnaroo)
Perhaps you heard the horrifying story of American news reporter Lara Logan and how she was beaten and sexually assaulted while covering the protests in Egypt. If you did, I am convinced, dear readers, that your reaction, whatever it may have been, was better than these. (Salon)
In brighter (if not wholly confirmed) Egyptian news, the military allegedly defied ex-President Mubarak’s orders to slaughter the protesters in Tahrir Square. This gives me hope for the current military state. (America Blog)
Bookstore uber chain Borders filed for bankruptcy and are closing many of their locations, which makes the independent bookseller (I did it for years) in me do a little celebratory jig. But then I think about all the Borders employees who will lose their jobs, the dominance of eReaders and the perilous state of printed books in general and my jig takes a mournful turn. Mournful jigs are the worst. I’m going to go watch You’ve Got Mail. (Bleeding Cool)
And speaking of machinesohmygawdthey’retakingover, the “Skynet” quips were flying 2 fast and 2 furious yesterday in reference to the supercomputer Watson and his guest stint on Jeopardy! NPR asks you to take that notion seriously. (NPR)
However, I am convinced, my darling Daily Doubles, that if Trebek could rig the game, he would. He really hates that computer. (Hijinks Ensue)
For the first time since his wife’s death in 2009, Liam Neeson gave an interview to “Esquire” about losing the lovely and talented Natasha Richardson. Warning, here be tears. (Celebitchy)
Your link wench really did tear up at that Neeson article. I’m a soft touch. If only I looked as fetching as Natalie Portman whilst crying. Here’s a montage of her weeping with Juliane Moore-esque face contortions. A majority of the clips come from one movie. Yeah, The Other Boleyn Girl, I didn’t want to watch you anyway.
And finally, in non-weepy but also foregone conclusion Oscar-winner news, here is an adorable rap about The King’s Speech. No, honestly, it’s adorable. Wait until the Will Smith stops and the speech impediments begin.
Joanna Robinson possesses a pah-pah-pah-particular enunciation mixed with a pah-pah-pah-peculiar pronunciation. Stop. STAMMER TIME. Feel free to fling righteous indignation about stammer jokes to [email protected]