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Charlize Theron Doesn't Think You Understand How Hard Life Can Be For the Really Ridiculously Good-Looking

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | April 5, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | April 5, 2016 |

I absolutely love that Charlize Theron has the confidence to refer to herself as a “gorgeous, f***ing, gown-wearing eight-foot model.” She does so, though, in an attempt to convince us all just how hard it is to be that pretty. She says she’s lost roles for being so pretty. Which is both an insult to anyone who DID get those roles, and also totally disregards how hard it is to break into acting if you DON’T look like Charlize Theron. (Celebitchy)

Johnathon Schaech (Is that really how he spells his name? How did I never notice that superfluous H?) did a reddit AMA and talked about what an honor it was to be Ellen DeGeneres’ beard in the ’90s, before she came out. (US)

Ian McKellen changed his mind about wanting to write a memoir because it was too “painful,” which meant he had to give back his advance. All $1.4 million of it. That sounds pretty painful, too. (Jezebel)

What it’s like to watch Hamilton in prison. (PlainKate)

That last piece led me to the video of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s performance at the 2009 White House Poetry Jam. I’m sure a lot of you Ham heads have already seen it dozens of times, but I’d somehow missed it.

Jesse Williams is working on a Harry Belafonte biopic, and we need more details because that sounds AMAZING. (Essence)

Some of the comments from the Walking Dead’s cast and crew about that finale aren’t adding up. (Uproxx)

Melissa McCarthy can lip sync the sh*t out of some DMX. (Lainey)

A look into the hidden economics of the porn industry. (The Atlantic)

And here’s a look into the hidden fact that humans get aroused when they touch robots’ butts. (Daily Dot)

Cannonballer NTE would like to introduce you to author/illustrator Ashley Spires. The picture books she reviewed for Cannonball Read 8, The Most Magnificant Thing and Over-Scheduled Andrew, are simply illustrated but very expressive. They’re "… relate-able; have enough humor that kids will hear their messages without feeling preached to; and are just plain fun to read." (Cannonball Read 8)