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Brangelina's Ex-Bodyguard Just Gave Us All an Early Christmas Present

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | October 18, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | October 18, 2016 |

Brangelina’s former bodyguard is promoting something, so he’s opening up about his time working for them. He said a lot of shit that probably isn’t true, but it’s fascinating anyway. He worked for the couple for 18 months, but during that time he apparently was the real father figure to their kids, and quit because he was forced to smell Brad’s farts. Also, apparently famous people don’t know how to dress themselves or walk on their legs. I love everything about this, and I don’t know how this guy isn’t already literally dead from drowning in lawsuits. (DListed)

The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards are a real thing, I guess, and the finalists are AMAZING. (CWPA)

While we’re on the subjects of the world’s greatest animals, someone live tweeted his plane ride sitting behind an emotional support duck. Cuteness warning: THE DUCK HAS LITTLE SHOES. (Mashable)

I don’t know what I wouldn’t give to be invited to a Zadie Smith/Nick Laird cocktail party. (Lainey)

Even Howard Stern, who makes “locker room talk” for a living, is calling bullshit on Trump. (Celebitchy)

Thanks, Canada. We needed this.

The bad Dilbert man is really mad that people aren’t reading his tweets. His logical reasoning: TREASON. (Daily Dot)

Thomas Edison invented a lot of stuff, sure, but he couldn’t talk to ghosts. (Atlas Obscura)

This is a great piece on Iron Fist’s complicated history with representation. Short version “it blows.” (Inverse)

“That movie was too short,” said pretty much no one ever. Here are 53 great movies under 90 minutes. (Vulture)

Cannonballer Savagecats reviewed My Queer War, a WWII memoir. The title is an intentional double entendre-the author, James Lord, is gay; and his war was weird. He never saw combat, and the vast majority of his service involved copious amounts of free time during which he was free to explore his sexuality in a way that he had never before considered possible. Bouncing from POW camps to Picasso’s social scene to underground bars where gay servicemen could cavort openly, this is not your typical WWII story. Have you read this one? (Cannonball Read 8)

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