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One Point, Bitches

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | August 27, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | August 27, 2018 |


I have not seen To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before because I’m currently obsessed with Succession and I haven’t gotten around to it, so though we have written many times about the movie, I didn’t realize that Peter Kavinsky wasn’t a person. He’s a character, played by that guy who looks just like Mark Ruffalo, except Mark Ruffalo’s penis is not flopping around all over the Internet, unlike Peter Kavinsky who is actually Noah Centineo. Got it? (Lainey)

I almost included Vincent Cassell and Monica Bellucci in that list of 15 Entertainment Industry Couples You Didn’t Know Were Married, but decided against it. But also, Vincent Cassell just got married to someone else, and I don’t know who she is but she is very, very pretty, and I don’t know much about Cassell except that he always plays guys who look like they smell like Mickey Rourke. (Celebitchy)

Angelina Jolie got herself a new lawyer, which is only news when it’s Angelina Jolie or the President. (Dlisted)

Speaking of the President, what a self-enriching scumbag.

Also, if you ask me, there is no question that Trump is illegitimate, but I also appreciate that bigger outlets are also asking that question. (538)

Also, lots of “sources” are saying that Donald Trump is currently losing his shit, which brings me untold joy. (Wonkette)

Did you know that Caitlin FitzGerald was dating Aiden Turner because I didn’t know that Caitlin FitzGerald was dating Aiden Turner, but I do know that these boots totally make the outfit. (GFY)

The latest polls show Beto O’Rourke down one point to Ted Cruz. In Texas. In other news, Ted Cruz just shat his pants. (The Hill)

Meanwhile, Ted Cruz is basically running against O’Rourke’s viral speech about kneeling during the National Anthem. That’s very Trumpy. (Daily Beast)

Speaking of …

(Trump did eventually bow to public pressure and lower the flag).

Also, this is my favorite thing today.

A few murmers from a test-screening of Aquaman have leaked out. (/Film)

I know that you know that I know that you don’t care, but Opie has been cast in The Walking Dead and this brings me much joy (no, not THAT Opie. The OTHER Opie). (Uproxx)

The best part of this season of Who Is America? may actually be the credit sequence that included Sarah Palin, who didn’t actually appear in Who Is America?. (AV Club)

Congratulations to LanierHgts - the first Cannonballer to complete a bingo! She got her ‘5 down’ bingo with The Daily Show with Trevor Noah Presents The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library. Noah and his team present the tweets as art and critique them as such. "It was both terrifying to see all of the tweets in one place, and hysterically funny to read them together with the commentary by some of the greatest writers in television." There are still 3 more months of CBR10 Bingo, are you playing? (Cannonball Read 10)

No, no, no.

Goddamn, it just got warm in here, and it’s not the weather.

Eddie Murphy has a goddamn brood! A coven? A school? A passel? Whatever you call it when a man has fathered ten children! (People)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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