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Is The Royal Family Trying to Make It Look Like Kate Middleton’s Dead?

By Mike Redmond | Pajiba Love | March 11, 2024 |

By Mike Redmond | Pajiba Love | March 11, 2024 |


Just when it looked like things had quieted down on the “Where is Kate Middleton?” front, Kensington Palace dutifully went outside, laid down a small battalion of rakes, and proceeded to step on every single one of them plus a land mine just to be safe. Presumably, you’ve all seen the blatantly edited Mother’s Day photo of Kate that was given a kill notice by the Associated Press on Sunday. It was a freakish nightmare of rogue fingers, melted backgrounds, and disembodied heads. Apparently, everyone was supposed to believe Prince William took the photo, which only added to the WTF-ness of the whole situation. Kensington Place knows it’s under a microscope, and yet, it went ahead and put out a photo where Princess Charlotte somehow has three kneecaps. (Dammit, I’m learning their names.) Are these people really that stupid? Oh right, the inbreeding. Well, fortunately, they didn’t do something even more suspicious like tweet a statement from “Kate” where she basically says “lol whoops my bad.” Except, no wait, that’s exactly what they did because why even pretend there are sh*ts to give anymore? On that note, I’m Team Divorce because there’s no way even this gaggle of dunces would try to hide that Kate’s in a coma or worse. — But then again, the inbreeding… (NPR)

Cord Jefferson’s selfless Oscars acceptance speech was everything. (Lainey Gossip)

How did we worship Lord Satan at the Oscars this year? (Wonkette)

From James: Thanks to having their pants sued off, you can say gay in Florida schools again as long as it’s not part of classroom instruction. (AP)

Al Pacino has a new memoir coming out. (Deadline)

Dolly Parton reveals Beyoncé recorded a “Jolene” cover with her blessing. (Rolling Stone)

Former Activision CEO Bobby Kotick wants to buy TikTok and let OpenAI use it for training models. Oh goddammit. (Kotaku)

From Jen: Saltburn Funko Pops, anyone? (Variety)

There’s still a chance Coyote vs. Acme could see the light of day. (IndieWire)

Kim Kardashian might be dating Odell Beckham Jr. (Page Six)

Frankly, I’m amazed something like this hasn’t happened sooner. (Daily Beast)

Jake loves noir detective stories, appreciates Charles Ardai’s work at Hard Case Crime imprint, and was happy to get an advance reader copy of his collection of short stories, Death Comes Too Late. “He has a deep love of the genre he works in and it shines here in a collection of tales, each with an unpredictable end that’s steeped in the noir tradition.” Do you have a favorite niche subgenre? (Cannonball Read 16)

From Kayleigh: