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Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob & The Botox-Ridden Love That Will Never Die, Plus Prince William Rejected By A Little Heroine

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | April 5, 2013 |

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | April 5, 2013 |

As if there was any doubt that Lindsay Lohan runs with a very rough crowd, one of her favorite boyfriends/benefactors/johns (Victor Chatwal) was just caught with a pantload of drugs. They weren’t up the backside, so it definitely could have been a worse situation. Seriously though, this guy was smuggling coke, horse tranquilizers, and Xanax, and I’m pretty sure most of it was for one choice client. (TMZ)

Speaking of our delusional little trainwreck, have you seen these bikini photos of a bruised-up Lindsay Lohan in Brazil? Those marks aren’t the result of sheer clumsiness or a rough roll or two in the sack. Nope. That’s evidence of a red bull, vodka, and crack diet, and sadly, her body won’t hold out for much longer. (Vulture)

“Mad Men” will return for its sixth season on Sunday evening. I probably won’t watch because I enjoy indulging within Netflix binges for this show while drinking cheap red wine, and I can’t really get drunk on a Sunday night because it’s a dreadful way to start the week. Still, I can appreciate this artwork that illustrates memorable moments from season five. (Unreality)


Leonardo DiCaprio is almost beyond parody in his choice of girlfriends, who all either appear in the Victoria’s Secret catalog or are steadily moving in that direction. I wonder if he asks them to wear their Angel wings in the bedroom. Admit it, that would be neat. In an amusing twist, he’s now corrupted serial killer Bradley Cooper, who is following Leo’s modelizing lead. (Celebitchy)

A federal judge has ruled that the morning after pill must be available over the counter for all ages. This is a superb development, but I hope that they’re at least scanning driver’s licenses or other forms of ID at the cash register. Otherwise, there’s going to be some birth control dealing going on at local high schools. Does that sound too reactionary and paternal? (Gawker)

I’ve heard some really great things about FX’s new little engine that could, “The Americans.” Yet from the looks of this recap, the plotting has already grown hamfisted and sloppy. I realize that I’m not really in a position to critique a show that I’ve never watched, but it really bugs that they didn’t go full 1980s with Keri Russell’s hair. Even the “Felicity” style would be more realistic than this blowout. (Warming Glow)


Megan Fox might soon be treading on thin ice with Michael Bay again after she kept the Transformers director and Will Arnett waiting 45 minutes for her to show up at a restaurant. They were all celebrating Arnett’s official sign-on to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. Several years ago, we all expected more of Arnett than Jerry Bruckheimer 3-D gerbil movies and Michael Bay T & A films, right? I did. (Page Six)

Periodically, the tabloids print some version of a tale that involves Angelina Jolie dumping Brad Pitt and their five children to run back to Billy Bob Thornton. First of all, this makes no sense at all for Angie to ruin what she has with Brad and their family to get with a guy who looks like he hopped into a vat of Botox. Secondly, Billy Bob actually looks like this now, and he did it to himself. (Life & Style)


Benedict Cumberbatch will soon be starring in everything that you’ll ever watch or have the opportunity to watch. I do dig the guy and he is supposedly an amazing person as well, but I have to wonder whether he’s going to be severely overexposed in a few years. Is there such a thing as Cumbyoverload? (Variety)

I must admit to still feeling rather perplexed by Britney Spears’ new man, Everyday Boyfriend Dave. The two were set up by Britney’s dad, who will probably function as her conservator until one of them dies. Don’t try and tell me that there’s some fire between these two young lovers, because there surely is not. (Lainey Gossip)

Not even dogs like Jay Leno. Watch two of them lift their legs and ceremoniously let the chin have it. Don’t worry about Jay though. That classic car collection (and several millions of leftover dollars) will keep him warm at night while Jimmy Fallon is dancing up a storm in his former time slot. Good luck, Jimmy. You’re going to need it. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

Hank Azaria finally got someone to listen to him admit that Al Pacino scared the holy hell out of him with the impromptu “GREAAAT ASS!” line in Heat. That was an amazing movie in so many ways, not the least of which was Pacino’s well-executed curtain chomping. In related news, I shall continue to mourn for the careers of both Pacino and Michael Mann. (Film Drunk)


Kendall Jenner says that she hates being famous and just wants to, you know, go be a successful model. As much as it sounds like I just made fun of her, I do feel for the girl. It’s probably not easy being born into a family of famewhores and being forced to appear on reality television, despite all protests, since the age of 11 years. (Pop on the Pop)

Not everyone wants to kiss a prince, you know. Some adorable little Scottish girl cringed away when Prince William went in for a peck. That girl is pretty much my hero right now. Let’s hear it for sticking it to the monarchy in a way that Morrissey could never manage to do. (Celebitchy)

Finally, this last video features a shirtless and heaving Jeff Goldblum in the “honest” trailer of Jurassic Park 3-D. Man, I am so tired of 3-D retrofits, and since most of these money grabs are regurgitated kiddie flicks, I end up reviewing most of them. Not this one though — I believe Steven Lloyd Wilson will be doing the honors. On second thought, I wonder if those nips will be provided in eye-popping 3-D? If so, that mullet will definitely kill the effect. (High Definite)

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at

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