A-Rod is J. Lo’s tallest boyfriend since Affleck, and you know what that means? (I don’t know what what means) (Lainey)
OH MY GOD, is the Royal Marriage in trouble? They just can’t go around pretending everything is fine. (Fug Girls)
Speaking of the Royals, they’ve figured out the chain of events, or whatever, for after the Queen dies. (Celebitchy)
Ahead of the birth of their child, Amanda Seyfried has eloped with her boyfriend, and I like him enough to ignore for the moment that he ditched his wife for Seyfried. (DListed)
Because of the weather, and the road trip, and the madness, we are stupid behind on our SXSW reviews, but here’s a review of Steven Yeun’s Mayhem, a “wonderfully violent “fuck you” to corporate culture.” (WeGotThisCovered)
Speaking of SXSW, Joanna recorded her podcast Storm of Spoilers live there over the weekend, and several of us were in the audience rooting her on. She was expectedly great, because she always is, but I was also pretty impressed with her co-host Dave Gonzales, who is quick with the wit. (Storm of Spoilers)
There’s a theory going around that’s probably complete bullshit, but it’s fun to speculate that Life — starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds — could be a prequel to Venom. (FSR)
Trump woke One Direction up in the middle of the night, and when they refused to meet his daughter (Tiffany? Ivanka?), he gave them the boot. (Uproxx)
Speaking of Trump, here’s Angela Merkel’s reaction today when Trump tried to seek some solidarity. I believe her reaction is the German equivalent of the eye roll.
1. Merkel's reaction to Trump continuing to lie about wiretapping is 🔥— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) March 17, 2017
2. Why are reporters laughing as POTUS lies to them? pic.twitter.com/vcNUREkWGy
Nope. On closer inspection, it’s the German equivalent of, “The fuck you talking about?”
"As far as wiretapping by, i guess, this past administration, at least we have something in common, perhaps" pic.twitter.com/dv9MJwJ0d2— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) March 17, 2017
I don’t know if this came before or after, but Trump seemed to ignore Merkel’s request for a handshake.
The White House really should read articles before promoting them. Included in a White House email today was a link to a WashPo article titled, “Trump’s budget makes perfect sense and will fix America, and I will tell you why.” If anyone had read the article, they would have realized it was parody, because lines like these give it away: “AMERICA WILL BE STRONGER THAN IT HAS EVER BEEN! Anyone who survives will be a gun covered in the fur of a rare mammal, capable of fighting disease with a single muscular flex. RAW POWER! HARD RAW POWER GRRRRRR HISSS POW!” (Daily Beast)
For those fans of The Leftovers among you, we have a fairly good idea of what’s going on in the third season, and it’s pretty great. (Uproxx)
What could be a better way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day than getting nostalgic for 1990’s Dublin? Of Irish author Ciarán West, TylerDFC says, "it takes a talented writer to inject new life in to the well worn coming of age genre." He has read other books by Ciarán West but thought Sweetness Follows was the best yet. Have you read anything by this Pajiba-adjacent writer? (Cannonball Read 9)
Finally, Hannah points us to the Hillywood Show’s parody of The Suicide Squad, which is Leto approved.