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And You're Going To Put The Rabbit Back In Its Container

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 27, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 27, 2011 |

Hey there all you sock puppets and glove lovers! If you missed the ol’ P. Love yesterday, there was a mighty deul betwixt some rabid condimentalists. The battle between mustard apologists and mayo enthusiasts is reflected here in the word cloud of yesterday’s comment section. As you can see, at the last minute, someone pumped up the jMs.

Panda Mustard.jpg

Did you know that I’ve memorized all the lyrics to “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?” That includes but is not limited to: “steal your Seoul in South Korea, make Antartica cry uncle.” It’s a really popular party trick…at the parties I frequent…which are probably nerd parties. ANYWAY, spiffy new versions of “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego” and “Oregon Trail” are about to be launched on facebook. I know, I know, just don’t get caught caulking the wagon at work, okay guys? (IGN)

Marilu Henner as cray-cray Tea Party Girl Michele Bachmann??!?! YES! Get on this, Lifetime: Television for Women Who Like Stories About Rape and Abduction and Stuff. (Mark Lisanti)

The protests in Egypt are still raging and it’s gotten truly awful and violent. And while “The Huffington Post” has a fairly comprehensive round up of information, it’s this first-hand account by British reporter Jack Shenker that will stop you in your tracks. Shenker was aprehended and brutally beaten by the amin dowla, the Egyptian security force. Here’s his report including audio from the protest. (The Guardian)

Okay as a palate cleanser to the violence, I present to you, Great Pick-Up Lines in American History. I think Franklin Pierce wins my vote. DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? Come for the mustard, stay for the politics and puns, folks. (Barats and Bereta)

This article is hilarious and counts, I think, as some sort of sports contribution to today’s column. It’s sports-ish, sports-esque. I know it’s long, you little lodge bunnies, but it’s worth it. (27b/6)

Do you find yourself woefully out of place at hip cocktail parties or swinging singles clubs because you haven’t read the classics of British and American literature? Do wish you could wow the ladies with Faulknerian references? Well, sigh no more, dear friends, have I got a site for you. Check out Book-A-Minute. Seriously, who needs to wade through all of Hawthorne when all you need to know about the “The Scarlet Letter” is: “The Evil Puritanical Society SNUBS Hester Prynne…They call her NAMES…They won’t let her play any Evil Puritanical Society GAMES.” (Book-A-Minute)

But if even that much reading is too exhausting for ye, here are some classic plots broken down into four icons. I want the Gatsby one for a calling card. “The Great Jo Gatsby, For All Your Wenching Needs.” Ehhhh…I’ll work on it. (Kyle Tezak)

Some nerd culture references make me rub my hands together with glee. Such is the case with this “Doctor Who” swim cap. (io9)

Some nerd culture references make me shake my head in consternation. Such is the case with this Star Wars bathrobe. (The Great White Snark)

And then sometimes, just sometimes, you have to make a cake that involves references to The Mario Bros and zombies. Is it just me, or does this cake look wholly inedible? Can I eat that glitter? Is that horse made out of beeswax? I prefer yummy cakes to clever cakes. (io9)

Did you know that Will Ferrell will have a mutl-episode arc on “The Office” this season? Now you do. Here are the details. (

Do you want to see what Joseph Gordon Levitt looks like as a sleazy sex blogger? Of course you do. (TheFilmStage)

Listen guys, I don’t know what you mean. I think there’s nothing pretentious at all about my video choices. This short piece of timelapse photography set to an excerpt of Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” broadcast is totes fun and kicky.

The War of the Worlds (HDR timelapse with 7D & 450D) from Rafael Asquith on Vimeo.

Alright, fine, I see your point. Here’s something a bit peppier for your Last Weekday That’s Not A Friday (known in some circles as “Thursday”). I’d like to hear your opinion on this artist’s controversial choice to sample Trisha Yearwood’s version of “How Do I Live” over the infinitely squintier LeAnn Rimes version. Also, (if I had a dollar for every time I said this I’d totes have a dollar), this video needs more Buscemi.

Joanna Robinson loves Pajiba. It’s like f*cking Gosford Park up in this piece. If you’re interested in my ideas about developing a condiment called Pandannaise, do, please, drop me a line: [email protected]

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