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And This Is Why He'll Never Be Best Chris

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | March 12, 2019 |

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | March 12, 2019 |


Happy Monday! I am in the snottiest, snittiest, most hateful little mood today, but I’m sure it won’t show up in my work because I’m a goddamn professional!

And this is why he cannot possibly be Best Chris. I mean, COME ON! Cool Ranch? Dude.

Joe Jonas thinks his s-i-l Priyanka is annoying! Ok, fine, he didn’t say that. He probably thinks both of his sisters-in-law are annoying! (Hmmm, maybe I just find both of my s-i-ls annoying?) - (Lainey)

Lea Michelle got married and her new husband’s name is Zandy. Wanna’ bet he called himself “The Zand Man” at some point in his life? Zandy. Is it short for Alexander? Did someone really look at a tiny baby and say, “Aww, I love you! I shall call you Zandy!” - (Celebitchy)

Would you be shocked to learn that most Republican women don’t believe that systemic sexism is real? If that would shock you, you’re too young to be reading Pajiba and I’m telling your parents. - (TMS)

Moron incorrectly mansplains tampon needs and expense to women on the internet. Goes about as well as expected. - (Ruin MY Week)

I NEED this owl. - (Dlisted)

My husband NEEDS this shirt. - (GFY)

In What in the Fucking White Nonsense news: A white school teacher in NY had her class perform mock slave auctions… with the black students as the slaves and the white students as the owners. - (The Root)

Yes, I know, Amazon is evil, blah, blah, BUT, you can now use your FSA or HSA on Amazon to buy some of your medical supplies. - (Mental Floss)

Kate sent me this: “free pizza for kids if they read good.” - (Skillet)

After listening to the podcast about Elizabeth Holmes, The Drop Out, ASKReviews picked up John Carreyrou’s Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup and couldn’t put it down. "There were many moments when I got so angry at the things people were getting away with, but the last couple of chapters — I mean, there are some serious just deserts being served. It’s chef’s kiss come to life." Did you read Kristy’s review of the upcoming HBO documentary about Holmes and her company Theranos? (Cannonball Read 11)

Ok, Dough made me slightly less crabbier. Well done, Dough!

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Lainey is the copy editor & linkmaster. You can Tweet at her on Twitter.

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