By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba 10 | July 1, 2016 |
By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba 10 | July 1, 2016 |
*dances around singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” while sprinkling confetti shaped like genitals*
Later today begins Pajiba 10 voting. You’ve been given your consideration marching orders. Your pants are primed, your hearts aflamed.
But every year, the Hall of Fame notion vexes me. Because some people SHOULD NOT BE in contention. Like, they’re too hot to still be in the running. And, yet, they are. Seriously, you know I’m the one person not looking to get Fassbent but I’m shocked you all didn’t make him your peen king years ago. So here’s a list of people who, especially given certain Pajiban proclivities, you would assume are no longer in the running, that they’ve been retired to the world’s sexiest pasture, but they remain ready and willing to mount your list and ride it all night.
Jake Gyllenhaal
Ewan McGregor
Zoe Saldana
Jennifer Lawrence
Tatiana Maslany
Taye Diggs
Michael Fassbender
Anna Kendrick
Beyoncé
Everyone Named Chris
SWINTON
Cate Blanchett
Gillian Anderson
Eva Green
Oscar Isaac
Ryan Reynolds
Scarlett Johansson
David Tennant
Seriously, people. How is he even still a possibility? I named my vibrator after the man.