The battle of the Chrises is fun and all that. But look, Chris Evans is the best, and the rest of you just have bad taste. Well, not bad taste exactly. None of the Chrises is a bad choice. But clearly you don’t love yourself enough to accept the One True Chris, who is Pajiba 10 material on and offscreen at all the times.
It’s accepted that Chris Evans is hot. Hell, one of his first major roles was as “Harvard Hottie” in the otherwise forgettable rom-com The Nanny Diaries.
But there was a time when casting directors distrusted Evans’ hotness, making him the arrogant Johnny Storm in 2005’s Fantastic Four, and the conceited skater star Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
It wasn’t until Evans was cast as Captain America that it seemed Hollywood finally got it. There’s so much more to Evans than his chiseled face.
His brilliant blue eyes.
His swoon-worthy body that first made us wish we were Peggy Carter.
Through Cap, we finally saw the earnestness that’s come to define Evans’s public persona. He’s determined to do good work. And even as he fought against being swallowed by the Marvel machine, it only made us admire him more. Like Marilyn Monroe, he wanted to be more than a sex symbol, more than a movie star, he wanted to be an real actor. So, he took on smaller movies, like the dark biopic Puncture.
He took small roles and even hid his famous face in squicky hair to play The Iceman’s sinister Mr. Freezy.
Next, he turned the tables on our heroic expectations of him, playing the reluctant leader of class warfare in the chilling sci-fi thriller Snowpiercer, A.K.A. the movie where this All-American stud admits to eating babies.
But it’s Captain America that defines him. And it’s Evans whose defined American heroism on and offscreen. He hates bullies. He stands up for the little guy. He speaks out, because his position of fame gives him a great power and responsibility. And Evans has taken this to heart. In a time of great upheaval and uncertainty in America, Evans hasn’t shied away from politics. Instead, he’s used his Twitter account to promote community and love, and take on brazen bigots, publicly shaming David Duke.
I don't hate them. That's YOUR method. I love. Try it. It's stronger than hate. It unites us. I promise it's in you under the anger and fear https://t.co/RGnH4rrblq— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) February 13, 2017
And though it might lose him some fans, Evans has been outspoken in his disdain for Donald Trump, often retweeting critical news items about the president*, and sharing this witty tweet during the Comey Hearing:
Tweet, Donald….Tweet. pic.twitter.com/SXX13Ung0b— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 8, 2017
He is also a loving dog dad.
In other non-depressing news, my dog is still a pure, brand new soul, enjoying nonverbal bonds of love + acceptance w pretty much everything pic.twitter.com/Wg4CASei7n— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 8, 2017
And if all that weren’t enough, he had a real-life romance with comedian Jenny Slate that inspired hope for every goofy girl out there. In the movies, even the most glamorous women—Salma Hayek, Drew Barrymore, Michelle Monaghan—end up with Adam Goddamn Sandler. But the witty, pretty and wonderful Slate was cozy in the arms of Evans, in Gifted and IRL.
Ultimately, this dreamy duo parted ways. But instead of a bitter break-up full of scathing tabloid stories and snitty tweets, they were loving, respectful adults about it. Which only made us love them more. And let’s just take a second to note: Jenny Slate is a charm bomb with beauty, talent, wit, and the promise of fun. If she’s not on your Pajiba 10 shortlist, look at your life. Consider your choices.
But back to Evans, he’s the total package. Handsome, caring, mature, earnest, ambitious, smart, and brave. He’s exactly the guy you want to play a superhero, to be a idol to a generation of kids, to date your best friend, or bring home to your mom. And also, dat Cap ass.
Come on, you knew we weren’t going to leave that out.