Ever since 2011, October 13th has marked the arrival of one of the greatest and most important days in all of American history, and I say this with no hyperbole whatsoever: I speak of course, of Treat Yo’ Self Day.
Treat Yo’ Self Day was first introduced in the fourth season of Parks & Recreation as a yearly custom by Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle in which they spoil themselves rotten for at least one day, checking/savings accounts be damned.
So I asked my fellow Overlords yesterday to take a break from counting all the ways in which they hate the Dumpster Fire-flavored Cheeto that is Donald Trump and love Pajiba 10 favorite Rahul Kohli and his glorious beard to answer this question: what are the things that we would love to treat ourselves to if we could? Their sincere and thoughtful answers are listed as follows:
Jodi: Funko Pops. Movies. Books. I have so many Funko Pops that I had to bring some to work. I have them on display in my living room. I have two in my bedroom because I ran out of room in the living room.
I have 9 just at work!
I would live at Disney World.
(My answer is pretty much the same as Jodi’s, especially considering how many books I own, how many Funko Pops I’ve only just started collecting, and how I really and truly cannot and should not be left alone in a bookstore with money in my pocket. Case in point…)
Dustin: A babysitter for an entire weekend.
(Which means Dustin would be hiring the services of this lovely young woman then.)
Brian Byrd: That Wu-Tang album Martin Shkreli bought. A babysitter for an entire month. A lot of cash to do all sorts of fun things that result in fines and not jail time.
(1. I’d also want that album as well, especially if it involves doing this to Martin Shkreli. I like him about as much as Paper Boi likes Justin Bieber. And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, that means you aren’t watching Atlanta, and you need to fix that.
2. I guess we better clone the young woman who Dustin needs to hire for babysitting as well. Granted, your kids will all walk around the house singing “Babysitting Blues” and you won’t know why, but it will be worth it.
3. Isn’t that what we all want?)
Genevieve: A tour of all the Game of Thrones locations. Particularly Dubrovnik and Iceland. One of those apartments on TV that are somehow 2,000 square feet yet affordable for people working $40,000/yr jobs.
(For the latter, you could always ask Luke Cage for advice on how he somehow makes it work…)
Courtney: David Tennant—oh, buying people probably isn’t a great idea. OK, the entire wardrobe from Carol.. A lifetime supply of passion fruit LaCroix. A narrator to follow me around and narrate my life for a day and I will pay extra for Ron Howard. THE BEST OVERLORDS STAFF RETREAT EVER. TO FUCKING HOBBITON OR SOME SHIT.
(I had no idea what a La Croix was, passion fruit-flavored or otherwise, but thanks to Google a.k.a. the Sworn Enemy of Bing, I learned what it is and that it’s apparently very popular. And if Ron Howard is willing to appear in Jamie Foxx’s video for “Blame It” for reasons unknown, then acting as Courtney’s narrator shouldn’t be a problem.
And I can only imagine how much trouble and hijinks Courtney would get us all into if we ever got together for a staff retreat.)
Emily: So many things. Seriously so many. A vacation that doesn’t involve my mother, a whole new wardrobe, a full body waxing. That’s right, bitches, if I’m going down, I’m taking you all with me.
Rebecca: A whole barrel full of candy corn and enough bribe money to make TK eat it.
(Seeing as how TK is willing to eat pizza from Papa John’s on purpose, I’m not entirely sure that bribe money will be necessary. But it’s better to have bribe money and not need it than to need bribe money and not have it. Or something.)
Petr: I’m a simple man, all I would wish for is another guitar and a plane ticket to the States to get drunk with all you lovely reprobates. Except Steven. He wanted to move to Europe so bad, he can stay here while I go gallivanting. Also the money to get us all together in the same place without having to travel for, like, a month? Stupid big country of yours.
Also enough money to buy the naming rights to change the name to: Birth, Movies, Fired
(There were many other variations of “Birth.Movies._________” that we suggested, but due to maturity and professionalism, none of them will ever see the light of day.)
TK never submitted a response, but I imagine that he would treat himself to a brand-new set of Moleskine notebooks so he could sit down and write new, inventive, and profane ways to insult Seth.
Seth never submitted a response either, but I imagine that he would treat himself to…a brand-new set of Moleskine notebooks so he could sit down and write new, inventive, and profane ways to insult TK.
Riley…I’m certain she would bribe her friendly neighborhood brilliant scientist to come up with a formula to give her the powers of Spider-Gwen so she’d have even more reason to rock her Spider-Gwen hoodie.
What have you done, or what would you do, to treat yourself on Treat Yo’ Self Day?