Why Was Ariana Madix Singing at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?

It’s been a big week for fans of Vanderpump Rules, dear reader. First, the Toms announced the closure of their bar, Schwartz & Sandy’s. The very next day, news broke that season 12 will have an entirely new cast, which is probably at least part of the reason S&S closed, because they couldn’t even bank on a few minutes of screen time anymore. The internet rallied around the old cast, who posted their memories on social media with sentimental captions about the passing of time and the nature of change, etc.

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A post shared by 🌙 Ariana Madix 🌙 (@arianamadix)

“I’m feeling at peace with closing this chapter and I’m excited for everything that is to come. I don’t know that these were the best days of our lives, but they were definitely something special,” wrote Ariana Madix, the most powerful woman scorned in the history of reality television, and the victim of the scandal that forced the cast reboot.

I, for one, am not optimistic about a new cast returning VPR to its former glory, and thus, I went into my Thanksgiving morning feeling that I would never have to write about the show and its stars again, and that felt good. So, imagine my surprise when I saw Ariana Madix on the official Peacock Network float, lip-syncing to The Cardigans.

Why was she there? Well, she’s the Peacock darling, whether she’s on VPR or not. The streamer relies heavily on Bravo and their viewership, and Scandoval may have ruined a few lives but it was great for ratings. Madix is also the host of Peacock’s other big title, Love Island USA, so she’s basically the Peacock mascot. If there was gonna be a float and someone had to be on it, I guess she’s the best choice.

But why did she sing? She had a great run as Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway, and I’m talking “great” in the sense of real theater people thinking she was great, not like Erika Jayne level. She can carry a tune and perform a lyric, for sure. But why “Lovefool”? Why a musical performance at all? Is she soft-launching a pop career? Is she gonna announce a Christmas album soon? A simple chat with Hoda and Jenna just wasn’t good enough?

If you’re a regular reader of my reality coverage, you know that I often use my boyfriend’s outsider perspective on these topics. He was making a pie in the kitchen while I was watching Ariana do her thing on the TV in the living room, so I shouted to him to come look. He rushed into the room holding a wooden spoon, shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows, concerned that I’d stubbed my toe or some other emergency had occurred, and found me agog, pointing at the scene.

“It’s Ariana,” I said. He blinked. “She’s singing,” I said. He blinked. “At the parade,” I said. A bit of whipped cream dripped off the spoon.

“Who?” He asked.

“Oh, never mind.”