Listen Up, Liberals, Rudy Giuliani Can't Pay His Bills!

I am lucky enough to have never seen Rudy Giuliani as anything more than a weird, goblin-like politician who took a devastating tragedy and used it to inflate his ego, public persona, and ability to embarrass himself. I’m sure there are stories about ole Rudy making himself look like a jackass in the ’80s and ’90s but the man has made humiliating himself an art form in the last five years alone.

There was the famous mix-up where Giuliani held a press conference in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping instead of a Four Seasons hotel. Hair dye was dripping down his face like it was running away from his head in another press conference. He was caught on camera in Borat 2, sticking his hand down his pants in an attempt to woo (force himself on) star Maria Bakalova. It’s been non-stop Ls for the former mayor of New York and the hits keep coming.

Giuliani has been appearing in court after being hit with a defamation lawsuit by Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and her daughter Wandrea “Shaye” Moss. Ole Rudy will have to pay the two workers $146 million, which is fantastic. Giuliani would disagree, citing the hardship the verdict has caused him. “The implications you are making against me are wrong,” he said to the judge in his case. “I have no car, no credit card, no cash, everything I have is tied up. They have put stop orders on my business accounts, and I can’t pay my bills.”

Cry me a river, Rudy! Or don’t, as it will likely be 90% hair dye, 5% spittle, and maybe some tears. Watching someone who so thoroughly licked Trump’s boots get comeuppance should be a national holiday as it has happened so infrequently. Rudy’s meltdown is good for America (for as long as it exists; ten more years maybe?). The former prosecutor has been reduced to arguing with a judge not in defense of his clients but in defense of himself, and he is going about it poorly.

U.S. District Judge Lewis Liman has not taken any of Rudy’s bulls***. Giuliani had to hand over several assets to pay off his large bill, and that included a fancy car. However, ole Rudy turned over the car without the title. When Judge Liman pointed out that a car without a title is useless and reprimanded the former Mayor for not acquiring a copy of the title to give, Giuliani freaked out again. My guess is it looked something like this, but less charming:

I’ve never liked Rudy Giuliani, but who cares? What matters is that he is facing punishment. He is embarrassed. His legacy (shoddy as it already was) is in shambles. We are watching an arrogant, racist, unremorseful comet burn out in the atmosphere of consequences, and it is f***ing beautiful.