Kanye West Asks the Current President to 'FREE PUFF' Because Everything Is Awful

I lived in NYC for 16 years and have had my fair share of mice problems. My younger days would be spent hunting them down with various deadly traps, but having kids and growing up softens you (hopefully). So I’ve moved on to non-lethal traps and, essentially, a peaceful co-existence where I’ll forget mice are crawling through my walls until I wake up and find pellets of s*** on my stove. While my former relationship with them was specific to mice, my current relationship with them feels applicable to how I feel about Kanye West.

West was never one of my favorite rappers (pats self on the back). Still, he has been almost impossible to ignore, as most attention seekers flush with resources are. I’ll be blissfully unaware of West’s antics and then will suddenly have to learn that he has a megachurch/private school (or whatever the f*** he was doing). My mind will be free of nonsense and then I’ll see that he called slavery a “choice.” West is always finding new ways to s*** on my stove and today is no different.

The rapper has taken to Twitter with his fellow Nazis to ask President Trump to “FREE PUFF.” Yes, that Puff. The one who is being accused of crimes so horrific that even if you don’t believe them, there is a video of Diddy physically abusing Cassie Ventura. He f***ing sucks and deserves everything coming to him. However, where most people (reasonably) see a monster, Kanye sees a brother in arms who needs to be defended. West is not only going to bat for the disgraced mogul, he’s complaining that more people aren’t.

“WATCH OUR BROTHER ROT AND NEVER SAY S—,” West complained. “WE ALL WATCHED TAKE CHRIS BROWN AND AINT NOBODY DO NOTHING I WAS P— THEN TOO CHRIS BROWN ITS TO THE WHEELS FALL OFF.” The funny thing about mentioning Chris Brown is that that a**hole just won R&B Album of the Year at the stupid Grammys, joining Louis CK as a “canceled” person who the Grammys continue to recognize (but yeah, congrats, Beyoncé). But yes, everyone watched as Brown was … “punished?”

One of the scariest things about this is I genuinely can’t say for sure that it won’t work. Trump pardoning Diddy for a litany of abhorrent behavior would not feel strange coming from Trump. The President has already pardoned 1500 insurrectionists and at least one had already gotten in trouble for soliciting a minor. Freeing Diddy would line up with everything the President has shown he cares about. Do I expect it to happen? No. Would I be surprised if it did? Absolutely not.