Hulk Hogan Heard Trump Is Hiring Unqualified Lunatics: He’s In

During his infamous sex tape, Hulk Hogan made racist remarks about how he doesn’t want his daughter, Brooke, dating Black guys. Right off the bat, he’s perfect for Trump’s incoming administration. Although, the sex in that tape was consensual, so I worry if Hulk will fit in with the other kids. Will they tease him? These are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

If you watched last week’s episode of The Daily Show, all of this is going to sound very familiar because Jon Stewart made a joke about Hulk Hogan being the next weirdo in the clown car. Welp, here we are. Although, in fairness, not even Trump is letting Hulk touch anything important, so shockingly, there appears to be some sort of line. Fox News anchor, you can control the military. Wrestler, uh, why don’t you tell kids to exercise more?

Via The Hill:

Hogan during the interview recounted a conversation that he had with Trump at the president-elect’s Madison Square Garden rally in October in which Trump, as told by the former professional wrestler, seemed open to the idea of having Hogan serve in Trump’s second term.

“My president said, ‘You know something, you’d be great to run the President’s Council on Physical Fitness,’” Hogan said of their conversation at the New York rally.

If you were in school during the ’90s, you are acutely aware of the Presidential Fitness Challenge, the bane of all gym classes. You’re also aware that it was super-charged by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who notably endorsed Kamala Harris, so I gotta hand it to Trump. His administration does have a coherent theme: spite.

However, Hulkamania made a fatal error. After having the position floated by Trump, he pulled an RFK by trashing junk food. That’s the Donald’s whole diet, brotha!

“At the end of the day, when I was in the back at Madison Square Garden after the whole rally, we were talking about Robert Kennedy, I was talking about nutrition, and how many foreign countries won’t even let their people eat the food that we eat here in America. It’s so bad, and it’s poisoned a generation of kids. And at the end of the day, we start talking about physical fitness.”

Fortunately, Hulk still has two things going for him: One, he was at Trump’s Nazi rally for Nazis. Huge whitey points right there. Two, Hulk also has a gross relationship with his daughter, which is a quality none of Trump’s other appointees have. Case in point, here’s a weird video game ad where Hulk flashes his junk at the camera in plain view of Brooke.

Was reminding everyone about this commercial the secret point of this entire post? I dunno, maybe. I work in mysterious ways.