'Survivor' Winner Richard Hatch Has Never Met a Reality Competitor He Liked

If you clicked on this because you’re a Survivor fan, allow me to disappoint you: this is an article about the E! reality competition series House of Villains, the most unserious reality show currently on television. OG Survivor winner Richard Hatch was in the mansion this season along with other household names like Tiffany “New York” Pollard and Teresa Giudice, but it was Camilla Poindexter—yes, Poindexter—card-carrying member of the Bad Girls Club, who bested the best in the game, making him the second person to be eliminated from the season.

Here’s the problem: Rich essentially invented the “gameplay” part of Survivor, with the alliances and strategical voting and whatnot. Remember the guy who voted people off the island in alphabetical order? Yeah, most of those season one people were just on a cute little adventure. So, he was rewarded for his efforts, and he’s been milking it ever since.

But reality TV and reality competition shows have come a long way since Rich walked naked on that beach in Borneo. House of Villains is a competition show in the simplest sense of the word. The last person standing takes home a cash prize, but the competition along the way is not exactly sophisticated. One challenge was just musical chairs but on a dance floor and without the chairs. Game theorists need to apply to this one.

Spoilers

Richard Hatch, though, has never come down from his high horse. So he over-strategized and allianced, and then when the Bad Girl threw some chaos into the ring, as Bad Girls are wont to do, he looked stupid. But at least he doesn’t hold a grudge. When asked if he was shocked that Camilla, who he thought was an ally, put him up for elimination, he said:

“Shocked. That’s an interesting word in these shows, because I know where I am. I’m not a ball of emotions like most of these folks. It’s fascinating to watch them—they really are not pretending. I’m not. I’m in a game, so I’m very, very aware of the possibilities. Did I expect her to put me up? No. Was I shocked that she did? No. But that’s part of the game.”

Always thinking about “the game,” this guy, and that’s why he’s destined to be disappointed by his competitors.

“I really believed that 24 years into this whole unscripted drama genre, there weren’t many people left who didn’t understand what the game is. Boy, was I wrong. They were really not playing,” he said. See how he subtly suggested he invented the unscripted drama genre by implying it started 24 years ago with his show? “If I’d approached this the way I approached the original Survivor 24 years ago,” there we go with the double down, just to be safe, “I would still be on,” (eye-roll and fatigued sigh), “but I truly believed it wasn’t possible to not know that this is a game. They just really didn’t understand. It’s fascinating to me from a human perspective.”

Listen, is Victoria from The Bachelor playing a game? No. Is Teresa Giudice? Absolutely not. But perhaps he should consider that the person who sent him home is playing the best game of all. Perhaps, the Bad Girl has become the master.

And perhaps he should stop taking it so seriously and just have fun like the rest of us. He’s never going to get cast on The Traitors with that attitude.