It’s only June 1st? Then why is it already so hot and muggy? Seriously, I know I took a shower this morning, but my body seems to think I took one 5 minutes ago AND IT’S FELT THAT WAY ALL DAY. There’s clearly only one solution: time to sit on the couch with a fan in my lap, while watching stuff!
So what’s new on the platforms? Um, well… mostly movies, if I’m being honest. Don’t get me wrong, there’s good stuff ahead this month (GLOW! Luke Cage!). But apparently this particular weekend is the post-Memorial Day lull.
Arrested Development: Season 5 — This actually arrived earlier this week, but if you haven’t started it… well, that’s what the weekend is for!
The Break With Michelle Wolf — A new episode streams every Sunday, including this Sunday! Here’s a clip, to give you a taste:
November 13: Attack on Paris — three-part Netflix Original documentary, exploring the human stories behind the terrorist attack in Paris on November 13th, 2015.
National Treasure — I mean, you know you want it…
The Covenant — hot boy witches, starring John Carter and Bucky Barnes. This is fine.
And by the way: on June 5th, Netflix’ll have Thor: Ragnarok…
Amazon Prime & Hulu
These two are getting a lot of the same movies, including:
A shit-ton of Leprechaun movies — ‘Nuff said.
2 Days In The Valley — If you ever wondered what a movie starring Charlize Theron, Teri Hatcher, James Spader, Danny Aiello, Eric Stoltz and Jeff Daniels would look like, here’s your answer: the most 90s thing to ever 90s.
Event Horizon — Remember kids, Sam Neill is more than just a delightful Twittererererer.
But Amazon Prime is also getting Vampire In Brooklyn, which I feel the need to mention because a) Eddie Murphy is a Vampire, in Brooklyn; b) Angela Bassett is, you know, Angela Bassett; and c) it’s directed by Wes Craven. I mean, it’s kind of A LOT.