The Emmys are a month away. And other than the obvious snub of The Leftovers, we haven’t really given them the proper attention we would normally. Because basically the world is a sinking ship that is also on fire and is also full of rabid bats and also everyone on board has food poisoning and there’s a bear somewhere. Fancy people wearing fancy clothes and winning fancy awards is just frankly not a priority at this particular juncture. But today I realized that, in one month, assuming we are still alive and not destroyed by nuclear nazi warfare, I have to liveblog the Emmy Awards. And that this liveblog cannot be the first and only time I address the most bonkers batshit thing, unrelated to politics or science or anything else that actually matters, to occur this year.
Guys…Barb got nominated for a goddamn Emmy.
What have we done? When anthropologists and sociologists attempt to piece together where it all went wrong, I hope they examine this, too, because it’s when memes became accepted as truth, where the fun hyperbole of the internet became taken at face value, and it is nuts. NUTS.
Please, do not mistake me, Shannon Purser seems LOVELY and talented and I’m sure she would be exceptional in a role that gave her more than eight lines or five minutes of screen time, but it was pretty weird when the internet was deciding she should play Squirrel Girl LET ALONE nominating her for a goddamn Emmy when Winona goddamn Ryder wasn’t even nominated for an Emmy for this show. Finn Wolfhard’s haircut gave us more depth and development than Barb. This is like if Grumpy Cat was nominated for a Tony. IT MAKES NO SENSE. Why. WHY?
Any other year, we’d have written this post a month ago. This year we had to actually look up from the spoiled wreckage of our shitbag disaster of a nation like a broken possum and realize a) everything is shambles, b) Barb is nominated for an Emmy.
2017 is stupid.