By Kristy Puchko | Reviews | December 13, 2017 |
By Kristy Puchko | Reviews | December 13, 2017 |
It all began with A Christmas Prince. Rather than watching my beloved, reliable holiday favorites like Batman Returns, Krampus and A Muppets Christmas Carol, I turned to the notorious option on Netflix. I was naïve, thinking a holiday rom-com starring iZombie’s plucky star Rose McIver couldn’t be that bad. I was wrong. And instead of accepting my sacrifice as sufficient, Pajiba readers threw down the gauntlet, offering me my next challenge: The Spirit of Christmas.
Girl falls in love with ghost? I’m game. And because the win of a Democrat in Alabama makes tonight feel as exhilarating and hope-inspiring as Christmas Eve, here I am at 1:25AM too excited to sleep, and too foolish to do anything else with my time.
Good news. The bearded romantic lead, Thomas Beaudoin, is already hotter than the blandsome Royal Hotness of A Christmas Prince.
Holy shit. He just got murdered. This holiday movie came to play!
Now we leap to the future/present and a disappointing dinner date where Kate (Jen Lilley) is getting dumped for not being “capable of great love.”
“Are you breaking up with me? Thank God. I thought you were proposing.” I like Kate. She’s emotionally unavailable, but she’s cool with that.
“I’m not going to pretend to feel something that I don’t…are you going to eat that.” Okay. I’m crushing on Kate.
Kate is a lawyer who needs to get the house, where hot guy was murdered, on the market before the holidays. But it’s haunted and we all know what an easily spooked lot appraisers are.
Whoa. This house is so gorgeous, and it comes with a hot ghost! How is this a hard sell? I will never understand the real estate market.
“Daniel (the ghost) has never harmed anyone. But once in a while he does assert himself.” Go on…
Trope alert: Kate has to spend the night alone in the haunted house. But it’s cool b/c ghosts totally aren’t real.
If Kate and Daniel don’t make pottery together I will be disappointed.
Just out of curiosity: If you could spend the night with any ghost, who would it be? It could be fictional, like Casper. OR it could be a bygone celebrity. Dish in comments.
Forget transparent apparition shtick. Daniel appears full-bodied, and can manipulate the world around him, meaning shutting off the security system, playing piano, and scooping Kate up and pitching her outside on the porch. At least he also pitched out a blanket.
The great thing about prohibition-era ghost dudes, they just look like hot hipsters: a little bit douchey, but still sexy. Just don’t ask him his thoughts on vegan tacos.
Kate thinks Daniel is a living intruder, so she calls the cops twice. They are useless. You know who she oughta call?
Daniel just threw shade on every ghost movie. He’s maybe not a ghost but maybe cursed. I’m confused.
OOOOOOOH! Daniel is cursed to walk the grounds of the inn where he died. If he leaves them, his body vanishes completely. He’s trapped here. Also, he only appears for 12 days every year, at Christmas. Which, okay, now the attitude makes sense. BUT plot wise? Just wait the 12 days and then bring in an appraiser.
Kate’s thinking long-term, fair. She’s trying to free him by solving his unsolved murder, because her job is to de-ghost this house so she can get it sold for keeps.
“Don’t you want to move on?” Guys. I have a theory. We’re not just talking about the afterlife. We’re talking about the love sickness.
Daniel was a bootlegger. I love a rebel. I love a cocktail. I’m digging this cranky hot ghost. Imagine Mr. Darcy, but with just a hint of the scoundrel about him. I’m into it.
Flashback to Daniel romancing a pleasant blonde woman, Lilly. Eh. I miss Kate.
It’s 2am. Basic Bitch Lilly is putting me to sleep.
“What does your husband say of you staying here?” Subtle, Daniel. Subtle.
Okay. Daniel wanted to go legit and just run the inn his parents left. But one last big bootlegging job first. You know the drill. Meanwhile, his brother is swooning over Lilly.
Back in the present, Daniel is doing chores shirtless. NBD.
He’s a ghost who irons his shirt. It’s a pitiful excuse to show him shirtless. But, I’m okay with it. Very okay.
“This is shaping up to be the worst Christmas since I died.”
“The only bartender that I trust is myself.” Okay. Daniel cool your jets on this hipster biz. It’s getting to be a bit much.
Daniel’s planning to show off his bartending bravado to the neighbors. I’m hoping for Cocktail-like slinging.
Nope. Mason jars and the Hanky Panky, which is a real Prohibition era cocktail that is really overrated.
Daaaaaamn. The neighbor’s got the hot goss! Lilly married Daniel’s brother REAL QUICK after Daniel’s death. And then came a baby that was probably Daniel’s. The baby died. And then Lilly bit it. Did Charles and Lilly team up to kill Daniel to be together?
Yikes. Lilly demanded he not go on the rum run. She wanted him home safe for Christmas. Instead, someone bludgeoned him to death when he was on his way home to her.
“At least I’m not a jerk who lies to his pregnant fiancée, gets himself killed, and leaves her to die in a maybe loveless marriage.” Kate is having NONE of Daniel’s shit!
They did not kiss.
Daniel is not the only ghost lurking. Something dark is messing with Kate. And Daniel got all protective and embraced her.
12 days at Christmas. 12 days OF Christmas. But what does it mean? COULD it be that Daniel is not cursed, but blessed? He’s destined to walk the halls of this house until he finds his one true love. MAYBE that was Lilly’s dying wish and she’s the second ghost, but not a mean, jealous one, a nice urging-her-husband-to-move-on one!? I mean, been there, done that. But also? I think I like this movie.
“I feel quite confident you have a wonderful capacity for love.”
UGH. Kate’s is not though. Daniel is suggesting they share a room so he can protect her from the other ghost, and she’s being very persnickety. Girl, get you a ghost hottie!
Maybe Patrick Swayze’s Ghost doesn’t exist in the world of The Spirit of Christmas. Maybe Kate never experienced the thrill of the “Unchained Melody” sequence. Maybe she truly doesn’t understand that she is living out a damned fantasy and really should just roll with it!
UGH even in ghost fantasy worlds senators are the worst. One died in Boston, which means Kate is being called back to lawyer something something. But we have not figured out who killed Daniel, or how to stop the last petal from falling from the rose. Nope. Sorry. That’s Beauty and the Beast. It’s 2:30 in the morning.
Cranky Daniel let in the appraiser. Hell, he even invited him! And Career Girl Kate ignored her demanding boss so she could come back to the inn and her sexy specter.
Kate dug up the birth certificate to discover it was Daniel’s baby and “the marriage was just a cover, at least for Lilly.” AND Kate gave Daniel a gold pocket watch. It’s the one he was holding when he died—AND NOW THEY’RE KISSING!?!
Kate’s wearing a side ponytail to a fancy party.
Good news? Charles was too busy trying to bang his future sister-in-law Lilly for either of them to kill Daniel. Bad News: the big reveal of whodunnit is pretty blah/duh.
“Turns out it’s not a curse after all. It’s a miracle. Lilly’s miracle for me.” FUCKING CALLED IT! Sort of.
This movie is over and they still have not hooked up. What is even the point of this movie?!
Oh damn! Lilly tried to take Daniel away with her, but he’s all like
“Twelve days is not nearly enough. I want more. I want you.” Ding dong.
Wait. Is this based on a true story?
Would this movie be better or worse if the heroine was named Amethyst Realm? Sound off below.
Kate is miraculously not fired, and gets her ghost guy. Women really can have it all! (At least in saccharine holiday movies. But I’ll take a win where I can get one.)
It’s 2:59AM, and Netflix is suggesting I watch A Christmas Prince again. It never ends.