Reese’s has come under fire for their Peanut Butter “Tree” treats. And not by those who conservatives assure us are “waging a War on Christmas,” but by those who think this candy is less tree-shaped and more turd-shaped.
CNN has an actual news post about this, along with this helpful visual aid:
Disappointed PB lovers took to Twitter to complain, and spurring Reese’s to spambot out a slew of apologies.
But, gang, there’s two very important reasons none of us should be wasting time worrying about this tree-turd debacle. First, peanut butter and chocolate is delicious no matter what shape it is in. You want to make it shaped like a turd? It’d look like a wide variety of candy bars. No big deal. You want to make it shaped like Hitler? Weird. But I’d still eat it because what part of “pb + c = delicious” do you not understand?
But the second, and frankly most important reason you shouldn’t give two shit-shaped candies about this is:
Behold the beauty and wonder of the Snickers Nutcracker! Not only does it actually look like the thing it claims to, but also it is all the goddamn delicious. As great as PBC is, Snickers—with its blend of mix of chocolate, peanuts, caramel and nougat—is so tasty that it manages to make nougat not disgusting.
No joke, this is such a coveted item around my family’s holiday that we scour for them months in advance. The chocolate to insides ratio is better than your average Snickers. And the bite-size nature of them makes them a more sophisticated treat. Plus, they pair well with just about any adult beverage you can imagine.
So get your priorities straight and gets some damn Snickers Nutcrackers while supplies lasts.
Kristy Puchko may be drooling in anticipation.