By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | November 12, 2010 |
By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | November 12, 2010 |
Today is a very special day in the land of Pajiba. Today is the day we celebrate butthole. Oh, butthole: What a wonderful word.What a wonderful thing to say! Butthole.
B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E.
You know what we do on Butthole Day at Pajiba? This, while chanting Butthole, and listening to the Butthole Surfers:
This is our 3rd Annual Butthole Day, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned from this yearly tradition, it’s that Buttholes never go out of style. And this year, we’ve added a Mascot to Butthole Day, to help you all celebrate the tradition. Here’s our mascot:
Now, for those of you who might be new to the site, who might not yet be accustomed to our tongue in butthole cheek sense of humor (seriously: Lots of folks taking lots of stuff really seriously around here lately, like the post on the Rachel Weisz/Darren Aronofsky split? what kind of buttholes take that literally?) Butthole Day is simple. It’s a celebration of the greatest word in the English language, a word that everyone loves to say. It rolls of the tongue with a satisfying pop. It dances in our ears. It’s a glorious combination of letters.
Seriously.
Say it. Butthole! Say it loud, say it proud! Butthole. B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E. Butthole! Are you sitting near anyone right now? If so, turn to him or her. Tap on her shoulder. Prepare a serious expression. Clear your throat. And then say it like you mean it. BUTTHOLE!
Has anything ever felt so good to say? It’s so liberating! Yes! Yes! Yes! Butthole!
You got the butthole fever yet?
This man does:
Today, the buttholes shall run amok! Run free with your butthole selves. Do the butthole Turk dance. Go to your favorite restaurant and ask for butthole. Go to Home Depot and ask for butthole. Every time you answer the phone today, answer with, “Butthole speaking. How can I help you?” Call your boss a butthole, and tell him it’s OK. You have a free pass. It’s butthole day.
And because it’s butthole day, you don’t have to take shit from anyone.
Now do it, y’all. You know how this works. Get it out of your system. Say it to everyone you know! Butthole! Leave a butthole comment! Leave three! Spill it, jam it, poke it, provoke it. Butthole!