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To the Pain! It's A 'Princess Bride' Live Read Face-Off

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | September 13, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | September 13, 2015 |

At this point, there are few events film & pop culture fans would be more willing to cut a leg off to attend than Jason Reitman’s Live Read series. They started a few years ago when Reitman gathered a bunch of A-list actors together at LACMA to do an unrehearsed seated reading of The Breakfast Club, followed a few months later by The Apartment. There’s one every month, but every once in a while, one has such a star-studded cast, it makes major news. That’s what happened with Reitman’s third and biggest at the time, when he put up The Princess Bride. The cast for that reading was out of control, and maybe you thought it couldn’t be topped. But this weekend, Reitman tried. With so much of Hollywood’s population currently up in Toronto, he took the opportunity to do a special TIFF reading of The Princess Bride, and once again, it’s a cast worth sqeeing over. So which one would you have chosen to see? (You know, if we’re living in a wish-granting fantasy world where we would never be snubbed from Reitman’s guest list.) Let’s compare. The 2011 cast member is always listed first.

Westley: Paul Rudd vs. Cary Elwes
It’s hard to ever rank anyone above Paul Rudd in anything ever, but CARY FREAKING ELWES? According to some reviews of the event, this surprise reveal caused “pandemonium” and people (especially some female audience members) lost their shit.
Point: Elwes

Princess Buttercup: Mindy Kaling vs. Rachel McAdams
Again, I’m such a McAdams fan that I immediately want to give this to her, but then I saw this video of Mindy Kaling and Paul Rudd Making out and, well…

Point: Kaling

Patton Oswalt vs. Donald Glover
Donald Glover seems like an intriguingly unconventional choice, but come on— you desperately want to see Oswalt screaming “Inconceivable!” don’t you?

Fezzik: Bill Fagerbakke vs. Hockey Player Georges Laraque
Hmm… this on’e a tough call. I love the idea of bringing on a hockey player to play a role originated by a wrestler, but Marshall’s dad from How I Met Your Mother/Patrick from SpongeBob SquarePants had to have killed it, without a doubt.
Point: Fagerbakke

Inigo Montoya
Goran Visnjic vs. Gael Garcia Bernal
Even though Bernal’s plane was delayed and Reitman’s sister Catherine had to fill in for the first half or so, it doesn’t matter. Look at that beautiful man face. ALL THE POINTS FOR BERNAL.

Count Rugen: Nick Kroll vs. Chris O’Dowd
Oh wow, another tough one. The Hollywood Reporter says that O’Dowd stole the whole show with this role, and I’m inclined to believe them, but when Kroll did it back in 2011, he also doubled as the priest, and was so, SO good that I have to factor this into his average.

Point: TIE.

Miracle Max
Kevin Pollak vs. Chris O’Dowd
But don’t worry, Chris! You win this one.
Point: O’Dowd

Cary Elwes vs. Patrick Stewart
Okay, it’s a total mindf*ck to bring Elwes in to play Humperdink but I don’t even care because ALL POINTS TO PATRICK STEWART!