This Week In 'Seriously, Fuck That Guy'

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | February 19, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | February 19, 2016 |

I know! I know I just said I wasn’t going to do one of these this week because Kristen Bell was making me feel so good about the world. But then, you know what? I took another look around. And there is too much for one adorable Instagram to negate. So this week:

—Let’s start off big and say a giant “Fuck you” to the sports site SB Nation for publishing a 12,000 word profile on Daniel Holtzclaw, the Oklahoma City former police officer, who was recently convicted of raping and assaulting multiple black women, over multiple months, while on duty. The piece was ostensibly supposed to be a look at his early football career (side note: Why?), but instead read like a love letter to a man who has lost so much. The piece was quickly deleted, but through that link above— and I can’t say I recommend this unless you just LOVE RAGE— you can read a cached version.

—Everyone who’s a racist monster came out to play in the comments of this MAC Cosmetics Instagram post.

Royal romance at @ohnetitelny #AW16. #MACBackstage #NYFW

A photo posted by M∙A∙C Cosmetics (@maccosmetics) on Feb 17, 2016 at 6:50pm PST

—Kanye. For a lot of things. For being weird all over Taylor Swift, throwing fits at SNL, and asking Mark Zuckerberg for money. It’s been a long week of Kanye.

Mark Zuckerberg I know it’s your bday but can you please call me by 2mrw…

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) February 15, 2016

—The Grammys, for not just being a broadcast of Hamilton in its entirety.

—The judge in Kesha’s case. I already mentioned it once today, and I presume we’ll be talking about it again, more in-depth soon, but in the interim, fuck that guy, and fuck her human garbage fire of a producer.

Joseph Fiennes, for continuing to say weird shit about his upcoming role playing Michael Jackson. It really does seem like he’s trying to be an ally here, but he’s so misguided it’s infuriating. He tries to separate this discussion from the #OscarsSoWhite discussion, like everyone who can’t see that the Oscars isn’t the whole problem, it’s the fiery, puss-filled symptom of an industry-wide disease. He also equates race solely with skin color, instead of any sort of cultural or historical or community-based identity. Basically, this whole project is a shit show and it’s hard to tell if he’s defending it because it’s his job, or if he really doesn’t see the problem with playing Michael Jackson.

—New Girl. Seriously, fuck that show. I haven’t written about it since Megan Fox joined, mostly because the entirety of my thoughts on it can be summed up as “Fuck that show.” For something that started off as a show about a female character, this season it sure doesn’t have any interest in portraying a woman as anything but a male fantasy.

—Finally, fuck this drunk monkey, who got ahold of a knife and chased everyone out of this bar, then went up on the roof for some roof-stabbing. YOU DON’T GET TO HOLD OUR BEER HOSTAGE, MONKEY.