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The Weekly Caption Contest

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | September 21, 2012 |

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | September 21, 2012 |

It’s utterly ridiculous but I liked the submissions so much from last week that I’ve only been able to narrow it down to ten finalists. Ten. “American Idol” has more dignity than I do. Without further ado I will present the final ten, but first a reminder of the images that were provided for us:



10. Dave McIntyre, Esq

“umm…the girls are cute. I got nothing.’

For me, this represents truth in advertising. Well done, Dave, you got to the heart of the matter like a goddamn lightning bolt and your candor elevates us all.

9. EricD

Picture #2

The moment Gloria Steinem first made the connection between a fish and a bicycle.

Picture # Raquel Welch

The 70s were a very different time for feminine hygiene products.

I like the first one because it’s all, you know, political and a lot funnier and more charming than Bono. I like Eric’s second one because I love Racquel Welch. Did you know that people claim she had some ribs removed to acquire that hourglass figure? It’s a true rumor and a true inspiration. I also like it because I know a woman who had an opportunity to run one of the legs of Olympic Torch Relay this year. They made her, and everyone, wear one of those white, space age bodysuit things and just before she was to take the torch her lady time struck. Mr. Bean kind of chaos ensued, and even though she was briefly locked in the boys washroom in a British public school, she handled it like a pro and the Olympics were not ruined, and so EricD, I present to you a photograph of super stud and 1972 Olympic champion Mark Spitz.


8. Kenny G.

1. “Shit Baby…This JIFFY-POP went fuckin’ crazy!!!”

I like the expletives, well done, Kenny!

7. Kelsy

I don’t really have anything funny to say except that I really like blowing bubbles, and I kind of want to join the people in the first picture. If I was required to wear Levi’s to blow said bubbles, I guess I would wear those stripey ones because why not?

Kelsy, I would say you pretty accurately read my mind. I also like blowing bubbles and stripy pants are fun, so yes, yes, why not?

6. mswas

Top: Mary thought, “I might be wearing the belt buckle of love, but boy do I sure hate you, Fred,” and then she punched him in the head.

Bottom: “And then the House of Representatives declared the word “vagina” offensive!”

I like the violence that mswas has conjured here. She’s dug deep for the subtext, and then followed that up with a damning and incisive political commentary. Mswas, I would vote for you in your ran for office.

5. Carl •

“First, we drink the special traveling liquid. Then we lie down in bed with the purple veils on our faces. That night, a space vessel shaped much like this bubble will come to retrieve us.”

If you don’t find mass suicide from a religious cult funny, then really, you don’t find anything funny. Nicely done, Carl!


4. Melina

Right before the “Just Say No” campaign there was the little known drug campaign known as, “Drugs Make Everything Better”. It was well received.

Melina, you are well received.

3. PDamian

First photo:
WOMAN: “Yale Drama, Shakespeare In The Park, five years in the national tour of Godspell … and the best my big-time Hollywood agent can do is some butt-ugly jeans commercial.”

MAN: “Well, you did tell him to pass on the hooker and maid roles.”

Oh, political and funny and bringing the beauty that was Godspell back into our hearts and minds. Brilliant, PDamien, brilliant!

2. David

First one: “Pimp my Sesame Street.”
Second one: “You totally made that kid cry!!!”

David, you nailed them both and for whatever reason I love imaging some kid crying as the two stars of Playboy’s College Edition 1975 cycle off into the future.

1. protoformX

Excerpt from Carl Weather’s diary: “This one time I took Angela Davis’ little sister out. We blew giant bubbles on the sidewalk and ate hotdogs from a street vendor. She couldn’t finish hers, so I took it home and put it in a pot, added some broth, a potato. Baby, I got a stew goin’ “

Really, it wasn’t even close. ProtoformX’s caption made me laugh out loud. I want a t-shirt that says, Baby, I got a stew goin.’

Proto, you have just won a mystery gift! It’s a golden day for you. Just send us your address and Dustin Rowles will send something to you.

And now, with a nod to Melina, the image for this week:


Have at it!

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.