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The Single Greatest Headline Ever Written

By Petr Knava | Miscellaneous | May 11, 2018 |

By Petr Knava | Miscellaneous | May 11, 2018 |


Take a moment to reflect on your heroes. Those towering figures who act as beacons of inspiration and tenacity for you. Bring all their names to mind. Now throw them in the bin, because in terms of heroes, a Polish cow is clearly all anyone would ever need.


As per The Independent:

A cow has been living alone on an island, attacking anyone who comes near, after staging a miraculous escape on its way to a slaughterhouse.

The animal made its bid for safety last month after it refused to get into a lorry taking it to be killed for meat. Instead it rammed a metal fence before making a dash for the nearby Lake Nysa, south Poland.

After the cow’s owner, known only as Mr Lukasz, attempted to get it back to the farm, the cow broke one of his worker’s arms, according to Polish news show Wiadomosci.

It then entered the water and swam to one of the islands in the middle of the lake. Mr Lukasz said he even saw it dive underwater on its way.

Unfortunately, according to one awful news source, this titanic hero and example to all living creatures died after finally being captured and transported back.

I don’t know what you’re doing tonight, friends, but wherever you may be let us all raise a glass and shed a tear for this hero cow.

Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.

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