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The Pajiba Fascist Will Censor Your Soul

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | June 2, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | June 2, 2010 |

Yesterday’s call to retire a particular word or phrase that has outworn its welcome was an interesting and enlightening post. You folks hate a lot of words and phrases, many of which I use quite frequently (like “because of course __ did”). Consider me sufficiently shamed. I think I’m a little less guilty of the others, except “Really,” which, come on, really? It’s better and more succinct than the alternative, which is *raised, disbelieving eyebrow crossed with a little outrage*.

Several folks also started screaming CENSORSHIP (all caps to exaggerate obnoxiousness) at the idea that we might ban a word or expression and to that, my only response is *raised, disbelieving eyebrow crossed with a little outrage*. It was an amusing exercise, mostly to raise awareness about certain obnoxious words or phrases that many of us didn’t even know others thought were obnoxious and it was all in good fun. We’re not the slang Bundespolizei. We’re fucking around on a slow news day.

And speaking of phrases I’d like to ban personally: “I know you have to pay the bills, but … “

Also, The Internet is a crabby bitch, who is more than welcome to stick around.

There were several mentions that don’t really apply to this site (but more the Internet as a whole, like “ossum,” “FAIL” (a word that Pissboy shamed many of us out of using a year ago), and “THIS.” But there were a lot of words and phrases that are common on the site that some are growing weary of, although for nearly every mention there was a proper defense for its use. The most popular, I think, were:

best.____. ever.
in my pants
nom nom nom

I’m not going to wuss out on this one and decide, in the end, not to follow through with banning a word because a few folks got their undies bunched, but obviously, I won’t ban Murdertank or Godtopus, as they are synonymous with and singular to the site. Plus, I have T-shirts. And I love little more than the creation of site memes. Also, fuck you. I also can’t fairly ban hipster or hipster douchebag because that applies to all of you, according to Prisco. The fact that we’re debating over what overused word or expression to ban might even bolster that assertion. The best. ____. ever. has already been played out mostly. Kitteh. I don’t even know what that is, but I suspect it’s got something to do with LOLcats, which means I hate it, and I think shame is the best way to deal with that one.

That pretty much leaves “In my bunk,” “squee,” and “Nom nom nom.” I did some checking, and “nom nom nom” has actually been used less than 100 times on the site, while “squee” has been used more than 300 times and “in my bunk” has been used over 500 times.

Yet, despite the fact that “in my bunk” is clearly the most overused phrase on the site, I don’t want to ban it because it is in the Pajiba dictionary, it is mostly singular to this site (and Firefly/Serenity communities), and it’s got good etymology. You can’t dismiss good etymology, people. However, I would encourage someone to come up with a fun, not overly graphic alternative that allows us not to have to picture you actually masturbating, as that’s really not a mental image any of us need during the workday. Do it for Figgy who is deathly sick of your bunks.

And so, by process of elimination, the word to be banned is “squee,” which is anecdotally appropriate for me. A year or two ago, I used it a couple of times before I really understood its meaning, and Seth promptly emailed me to tell me to cut it the fuck out as it made me sound like a teenage girl and, per the “Dustin is gay” meme, clearly I don’t need to encourage that.

For goofs, I’m also going to ban another word, but I’m not going to tell you what it is. If you use it, and your comment is moderated, I suspect you’ll know.

But while we are banning two words, there were several words and phrases in yesterday’s post that were highlighted for a return to glory. And thus, I encourage you all to begin using “Bananas,” “Booyah,” “Schwing,” and “Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk.” It’s retro cool (and in fact, I encourage you all to bring back old outworn phrases, like “talk to the hand,” and “you go girl.” Let’s be that site.)

Finally, malechai thoughtfully suggested that we use the word “dickety” more often. I second that motion.