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The Marvel Experience Tour Will Take All Your Money, And You Will Say Thank You

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | October 9, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | October 9, 2014 |

The Marvel Experience tour dates have just been announced, so it’s time to start selling all your belongings, and maybe plasma or various bodily fluids. The Marvel Experience is an immersive event that looks to be part traveling circus, part Disney World, in which you get to pretend to be an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D and train with Iron Man, Hulk, and Spider-Man to fight Red Skull and his minions. It’s only hitting four cities (Phoenix, Dallas, San Diego and San Francisco) and ticket prices haven’t been announced yet, which means they’re probably only accepting first-born children and small islands as currency. From the event’s website,

Your adventure will take you through seven colossal Domes as you train for a climactic battle against Hydra and its army of evil Adaptoids. Along the way, you’ll experience the world’s only 360-degree, 3-D stereoscopic theater, and a state-of-the-art 4-D motion ride.
I fully admit that I have absolutely no idea what a 4-D motion ride is, and a Google search to try to learn led me to this GIF: 8-cell-simple.gif

Which I stared into until suddenly it was an hour later and my brain had exploded. Also, a great “When did I get this old and crabby” moment is when you hear “360-degree movie” and your first thought is “Oh, that would definitely make me vomit everywhere. In all 360 degrees.” Don’t get me wrong. I desperately want to give them all my money, but I will be loudly complaining of nausea the entire time.