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The Great Bryce Dallas Howard 'Jurassic World' High Heel Debate

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | June 16, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | June 16, 2015 |

There are a few things that every single person who has seen Jurassic World can agree on (with no spoilers, BTW, for the spoiler-sensitive): autoerotica animatronics > CGI, always; Jake Johnson and Chris Pratt should never have mustaches on their faces; B.D. Wong should only ever wear turtlenecks and should be in EVERYTHING. But maybe the most divisive element of the movie is that of footwear. Specifically, Bryce Dallas Howard’s high heels. Some think her shoes ruined the movie. Others think the movie was already ruined. Let’s discuss.

The Argument For: BDH is a behind-the-scenes kind of woman. She keeps the park running, but from an investor support type of position. She is not Muldoon, she’s more a bloodsucking lawyer. There is no reason for her to wear sensible footwear, or or sensible anything. It actually enhances her character to be so out of touch as to wear pumps on a tropical island. So LAY OFF.

Exhibit A:
See? Indoor person doesn’t need practical wardrobe choices.

The Argument Against: Yes, it’s a movie about genetically engineered dinosaurs. That does not mean our suspension of disbelief has no limits. She works on an island made of dirt and mulch. She DOES travel to various parts of it, as we’ve seen. Her job may be to impress investors, but that doesn’t mean she’s removed from her surroundings. She’s also not a stupid idiot person. Wear some goddamn flats, Bryce. Burn your damn heels, and your stupid crisp impractically white outfits while you’re at it.

Exhibit B:
This is just dumb. Look at that dumb ground, made of leaves and bark and shit.

Exhibit C:
See how dumb this is out of context? It’s only maybe 1% less dumb IN context.

The Verdict
Okay, you’ve heard the arguments and seen the evidence. It’s up to you now.