Sing-Along-A-Lockdown: Why Not Enjoy Some Quarantunes?

By Hannah Sole | Miscellaneous | May 12, 2020 |

By Hannah Sole | Miscellaneous | May 12, 2020 |

With my Brexit musical stuck in the doldrums, it was only natural that I would need something else to sing about. Being stuck indoors all day, every day, you’d think there would be a shortage of material. But oh no! Lockdown provides three very important sources of inspiration. First: the endless expanse of time; second: the desire to fill the silent space with something; and third: the gradual erosion of any inhibitions. Eh, I didn’t have many filters anyway.

Here are some of the highlights from my new album, tentatively entitled Quarantunes. Yes, they are all evil ear-worms. Yes, you will curse my name at 3am when you are still singing them. Yes, I am a bit bonkers.

Quarantunes has something for all your stay-at-home moods!

Getting into some home improvement? Why not have a boogie to Lockdown Clean! Wipe and sweep, make the kitchen gleam! Ooooh!

Bring some joy to a mundane task, with a joyous chorus of Let’s Take The Bins Out! Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop! Let’s take the bins out!

Jumping on the baking bandwagon? The Banana Bread Song is for you! What shall I do with these overripe bananas? Daylight come and we all stay home. Mash banana til de morning come! Daylight come, and we all stay home. One snack, two snack, three snack, LUNCH! Daylight come, and we all stay home…

For those days when getting dressed feels like you’ve earned a medal, rap along with The Fresh Pants and Clean Hair! Now this is a story all about how I showered for once, and my cat said wow! It only took an hour (or two, to be fair) but I really changed my mood with fresh pants and clean hair…

Rebel against the patriarchy with an emotional rendition of Braless Risker! I’ll never wear a bra again! Even when I go to Asda! If we’re all six feet apart, then nobody will know… Should have known better; in the freezer aisle, wish that I had worn a jumper… So I’ll maybe wear a bra again, but only buying foo-oo-ood…

Celebrate your sedentary days by belting out the lyrics to Lounge Mary. Big germs out there, lurking. Lounge Mary’s right here, working…while sitting, sitting, sitting on the sofa…

Read some stories about tourists stuck in five-star resorts and wistfully remember what it was like to feel the sun on your face while singing a few choruses of Hotel De Corona… (Such a lovely place, but don’t touch your face) White people stuck in the Hotel De Corona (they won’t tip with grace, but they’ll stuff their face)

And remember that sometimes there are Other Things in the news. Things like Trump deciding he wants to paint his wall black. Sometimes these songs just write themselves, you know? So I’ll leave you with this one in full. Press play and let’s do some karaoke! (Quaraoke? No? Too far?)

He built a big wall and and he wants it painted black.
(It’s more a fence of course, but big and bold and black)
I see the flags wave high, just going with the flow.
I cry and shake my head. When will this menace go?

I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black
They all must pander to an egomaniac.
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a nervous breakdown, it just happens every day

I look inside the state and see its heart is black
I see a White House, he will have it painted black
Maybe then we’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facing up, when your whole world is black

From sea to shining sea, all sullied with this hue.
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If we fight hard enough and figure out the sums
Maybe the wind will change before the new year comes

I see a fence some sh*t dictator painted black
No colors anymore, he made them all turn black
I see the days go by, resistance ebbs and flows
I want to turn my head until the darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

He wants to see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
He wants to see the sun, blotted out from the sky
He wants to see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Happy singing, y’all. Bring me your best Quarantunes in the comments!