South Florida is experiencing a tropical depression today (which was extremely briefly Tropical Storm Nicole, but I wrote all of this before that happened), and I’ve always found those to be one of the more aptly named weather systems. Obviously the term “depression” has a meteorological, but the lay definitions fits pretty well; it’s gray, rainy, kinda windy, and just an ugly day all around. Most of the rain we get this time of year is the kind where it’s all sunny, a cloud rolls up out of nowhere, it pours for about ten minutes, and then it’s pretty much sunny again. This is weather straight out of a Zoloft commercial, and you want to take it aside and be like “I know it’s disappointing that you didn’t become a hurricane, or at least a tropical storm, but that’s ok. You’re still a very respectable weather system and you don’t need to feel this way.” And then give it some informative pamphlets about the benefits of talk therapy. In more upbeat news, here’s your Wednesday night TV:
8:00pm: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW
“HBO Special: War Don Don” on HBO2
“Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox
“The Middle” on ABC
“PBS Special: The Tenth Inning” on PBS
“Survivor” on CBS
“Undercovers” on NBC. I’ve seen mixed reviews of this; people either didn’t think it lived up to the Abrams genius, (which I’m basically unfamiliar with since I never watched “LOST” or “Alias” and even though I wanted to like the Star Trek movie he did, all the goddamned lens flares in it give me a migraine, so it’s hard for me to judge it objectively, and I couldn’t watch Cloverfield at all because of the shaky cam) or they think it was kind of fun and notable for having a hot black couple as the leads. I know I liked it better than “The Event” and it’ll probably be one of those shows I tune in to when I’m not super interested in watching anything else.
8:30pm: “Better With You” on ABC
9:00pm: “Criminal Minds” on CBS
“Ghost Hunters” on SyFy
“Hellcats” on The CW
“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC
“Man vs. Food” on Travel
“Ma’s Roadhouse” on TruTV
“Modern Family” on ABC
9:30pm: “Cougar Town” on ABC. I hate the term “Cougar” so much. It feels like a one word way to mock women over 35 who would still like to have some sex and consider themselves attractive. How dare they! But now it’s on TV, which means that the term has officially become something lame, and hopefully will phase out of regular use.
10:00pm: “Black Gold” on TruTV
“Changing Lanes” on BET
“The Choir” on BBCA. First season finale.
“The Defenders” on CBS. Hey, another lawyer show! How groundbreaking!
“Food Wars” on Travel
“LA Ink” on TLC
“Law and Order: Los Angeles” on NBC. Series premiere. Starring Skeet Ulrich, Terrance Howard, and Alfred Molina, who all probably expected something better than a knock off procedural awaited them at this stage in their careers. Sorry, guys.
“The Real World: The [email protected]! They Should Have Shown” on MTV. So why didn’t they?
“Sci-Fi Science: Physics of the Impossible” on Science
“Terriers” on FX
“Top Chef Just Desserts” on Bravo
“Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns” on TBS
“Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?” on ID
“The Whole Truth” on ABC
10:30pm: “Tosh.0” on Comedy Central. Second season finale. This is the show someone left me a nasty comment about leaving off my list earlier in the season, so I said I’d never list it just because they were a dick about it. However, since it’s the season finale, I’m lifting my self imposed “Tosh.0” ban. Enjoy.
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Jesse Eisenberg
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Julie Scardina, Diane Lane, and Seal
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Joel McHale, Busy Philipps, and Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Steven Wright, Sloane Crosley, and Blake Shelton
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Justin Timberlake and Belle & Sebastian
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring the Catfish filmmakers, Big Freedia, and the Morning Benders
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Linda Polman
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Steve Rattner
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.