7:00

— “60 Minutes” is back for its 42nd season. When will Andy Rooney die already?

— “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” returns with a two-hour season premiere. Somebody will cry. The host will do a bump off a stripper’s ass.

8:00

— “The Amazing Race” is back with its two-hour season premiere on CBS. This is my third favorite reality show, behind “Top Chef,” and “Survivor.” Actually, those are the only three I watch.

— “The Simpsons” has its 21st season premiere. Bart is still in the 4th grade.

8:15:

— Colts vs. Cardinals on NBC. Two weeks in a row, the Colts get a primetime game. Even better: No Jon Gruden this week. Colts 35, Cardinal 24.

— 8:30

— “The Cleveland Show” has its series premiere on Fox. I refuse to watch it out of hatred of “Family Guy.”

9:00

— “Dexter” kicks off its fourth season on Showtime.

— “Desperate Housewives” returns for its sixth season on ABC.

9:30

— “American Dad” has its fifth season premiere on Fox. This show is still on?

— “Bored to Death” is back on HBO for episode two. It’s not any better than the first one, sadly.

10:00

— “Californiacation” has its third season premiere on Showtime.

— “Cold Case” has its seventh season premiere on CBS.

— “Mad Men” on AMC. It it just me, or was last week’s episode the first decent one this season?

— “Brothers and Sisters” has its fourth season premiere on ABC. You know who watches this show? The TV Whore. For reals.

10:30

— “Entourage” on HBO.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.