There are so many new shows on tonight! Shows coming back, shows premiering, shows you’ve been waiting for and maybe one or two you could care less about and one that probably nobody reading this is actually watching and we’d all just prefer if it would go away forever. Still exciting! We’ve got “House”, we’ve got “Chuck”, we’ve got that damn “The Ev3nt” show that’s being advertised everywhere that they want to make the new “LOST” which I know because that’s what the commercials say. Also, it’s like Indie Music night over on the talk show circuit and I have no clue what that’s all about but I completely approve. Fall television is back! Weeeeeeee! Here’s your Monday night TV:
8:00pm: “90210” on The CW
“Chuck” on NBC. Fourth season premiere.
“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC. 11th season premiere. I think it’s mostly reality “stars” this season which is it’s own special kind of boring.
“House” on Fox. Seventh season premiere. They’ve been teasing this for a while with shots of House and Cuddy in bed together so, you know, if that’s your thing then enjoy. I tune in when I remember this is on at 8 and not at 9 occasionally, but House’s particular brand of “Oh, I’m gonna be a raging asshole to everyone and then act wounded when no one loves me because I’m only a jerk because of all my physical and emotional pain. And because I can’t actually communicate” grew a little worn for me after the first couple seasons despite Hugh Laurie’s best efforts. Still, probably one of the more consistent shows on TV, I’ll grant them that.
“How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. Sixth season premiere.
“Little People, Big World” on TLC
8:30pm: “Little People, Big World” on TLC
“Monday Night Football: New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers” on ESPN
“Rules of Engagement” on CBS. Fifth season premiere.
9:00pm: “The Event” on NBC. Series premiere. More than wondering what, exactly, “The Event” is whenever I see ads for this I just wonder why the second “e” in “Event” HAS to be backwards. I might end up watching the show just to see if they explain that, but they probably won’t because I’m sure it was an art direction decisions for the ads, not actually anything to do with the show. Which sucks, because it always bugs me a little.
“America’s Best: Comfort Food” on Food Network
“Gossip Girl” on The CW
“Kate Plus 8” on TLC
“Lone Star” on Fox. Series premiere.
“Money Hungry” on VH1
“American Masters: Cachao: Uno Mas” on PBS
“RuPaul’s Drag U” on Logo. First season finale.
“Top Gear: Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine” on BBCA. Fifth season finale.
“Two and a Half Men” on CBS. Eighth season premiere.
“WWE: RAW” on USA
9:30pm: “Mike and Molly” on CBS
“Operation Repo” on TruTV
“Quints By Surprise” on TLC
“Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV
10:00pm: “Chase” on NBC. Series premiere.
“Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives” on Food Network
“Hard Core Pawn” on TruTV
“Hawaii Five-0” on CBS. Series premiere. I can’t wait to see what shows my generation chooses to remake out of a sense of misguided nostalgia and pure greed when we wrest cultural control away from the Boomers. I’m deliberately skipping over Generation X or whatever we’re calling them these days because frankly if they were going to make a stand, they would’ve done it already. Besides, they’d probably just remake “My So Called Life” and release another generation who use “like” as a form of verbal punctuation and end sentences with “or whatever” as a nervous tic. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE.
“Hoarders” on A&E
“Mystery Diagnosis” on Health
“Pawn Star$” on History
“Quints By Surprise” on TLC
“Scream Queens” on VH1
“Thintervention with Jackie Warner” on Bravo
“Weeds” on Showtime
“The World of Jenks” on MTV
“Castle” on ABC. Third season premiere. Starts at 10:01pm so, you know, adjust DVRs accordingly.
10:30pm: “The Big C” on Showtime
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Bill Clinton and Chromeo
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Justin Timberlake, Jane Lynch, and OK Go
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Courtney Cox, Bruno Tonioli, and Phoenix
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Mindy Kaling and Steve Hartman
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Julianna Margulies, Cory Monteith, and Superchunk
“Late Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Kristen Schaal, B.o.B, Chef Wolvesmouth, and the Walkmen
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Jimmy Carter
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Pavement
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.