There’s a little bit of something for everyone on TV tonight; for the jock types there’s the Skins/Cowboys game, for the pop culture junkies we have the MTV VMAs, for the ten year olds (who I sincerely hope are not reading themselves but rather that some of our readers have ten year old children) we have “Hannah Montana” and something with The Jonai, for the fans of sexy we have a new “True Blood”, for fans of dramatic sexy we have “Mad Men”, for the frat boys we have “Entourage”, and for the nerds out there we have the return of “The Venture Brothers.” Honestly, if you can’t find something you want to watch on TV tonight, you’re not trying hard enough or you just don’t like TV in general. I know what I’ll be watching (the biggest question is whether I go full dork and dig out my “Blackhearts” tank top to wear) but for those of you who don’t have television tastes that end up being a social liability here’s all your options:
7:00pm: “60 Minutes” on CBS
“Football Night in America” on NBC
“Jersey Shore” on MTV. New episode, special night and time.
8:00pm: “Big Brother” on CBS
“Hannah Montana” on Disney
“Holmes: Lien on Me Part 2” on HGTV
“Jerseylicious” on Style
“2010 VMA Pre-Show” on MTV. Because it’s not like there’s enough mindless, self-promotional chatter that happens during the show itself.
8:15pm: “Sunday Night Football: Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins” on NBC.
9:00pm: “Bridezillas” on WE
“The Great Food Truck Race” on Food Network
“Hoarding: Buried Alive” on TLC
“Ice Road Truckers” on History
“Jonas LA” on Disney
“Masterpiece!: Inspector Lewis, Series III: Dark Matter” on PBS
“Mel B: It’s a Scary World” on Style
“2010 VMAs” on MTV. There’s been some mess on Twitter in the last few days about Taylor Swift and Kanye, and Kanye wrote a song for Taylor but Taylor’s going to perform her OWN song about the “Imma Let You Finish” deal and it’s all stupid and tiresome and the best thing to happen to either of their careers in the last year so this is definitely not the last we’ve heard about it. Frankly, I kind of hope Taylor does perform Kanye’s song because he’s a better writer than she is and it’d be nice for her to sing something that’s more appropriate for a 21 year old than a moony high schooler. Anyway, tune in if you’d like to watch the continued Disney-fication of MTV, as Justin Bieber will be performing.
“Rubicon” on AMC
“True Blood” on HBO. Third season finale.
10:00pm: “Delocated!” on Adult Swim
“Freaky Eaters” on TLC
“The Gates” on ABC
“The Glades” on A&E
“Hung” on HBO. Second season finale.
“Iron Chef America” on Food Network
“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” on E!
“Mad Men” on AMC
“My Boys” on TBS. Fourth season finale.
“Over the Limit” on TruTV. Second season premiere.
“Snapped” on Oxygen.
“Swamp People” on History. This… almost sounds intriguing. And kind of scary. Like it should be on SyFy or TLC. Hmmmmm.
10:30pm: “Entourage” on HBO. Seventh season finale.
“Freaky Eaters” on TLC
“Over the Limit” on TruTV
“The Spin Crowd” on E!
11:00pm“The World of Jenks” on MTV. Series premiere.
11:30pm: “The Venture Brothers” on Adult Swim. Weeeeeee! I know some people have their doubts about this season, but I have to appreciate that Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick aren’t afraid to take risks. Brock Sampson, who is indisputably the most popular character on the show, was basically gone for the entire first half of this season which aired last fall. The rivalry that sustained the show for most of the first three seasons was dissolved, and they’re trying to make a pedophile sympathetic. I’m not saying all of it’s working, but I like that they’re not just pandering to the fanboys and actually trying to develop the show the way they’d like to see it done. A lot of the shows on Adult Swim seem to start out clever and intriguing and just devolve into a series of catch phrases and over the top ridiculousness to hang onto that valuable stoned 18-32 year old male demographic. I’m interested to see what they’ve got coming up this fall, even if not all of it is exactly what I want.
12:00am: “Children’s Hospital” on Adult Swim
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.