Crush: Going on 14 Years Now
Yesterday we all discussed our addictions to school supplies and the necessity of many colors of markers and pens to ensure a successful school year (or, in my case, something to use to color on my sneakers with when I got bored) today the Teen Choice awards are airing so let’s be honest; what celebrity crush decorated your locker and/or notebooks? I’m not necessarily going for embarrassing, but that’s always fun as is grossly inappropriate. For example, given certain precocious television viewing habits I had crushes on David Duchovny and George Clooney at age 10 because I was watching “The X-Files” and “E.R” pretty regularly. And when I was 12 or 13 I saw 10 Things I Hate About You for the first time and spent several years waiting for my perfectly not at all bad bad-boy with a hot accent to come along and fall for me despite my prickly somewhat antisocial exterior. So, if your 14 year old self was in charge of the Teen Choice awards, who would they go to? Here’s your Monday night TV:
8:00pm: “Bachelor Pad” on ABC. Series premiere. I thought this was another sitcom that would rehash the worst stereotypical jokes about men and their housekeeping abilities and dating habits but it’s actually a reality show featuring former “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” contestants. So, far FAR worse than another lame sitcom.
“Fox Special: Teen Choice 2010” on Fox. Two hour special presentation. I’d avoid this if you don’t already have Beiber Fever. I understand it’s catching. As is whatever’s wrong with Kesha. No, I’m not putting a dollar sign in there because it’s dumb.
“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family
9:00pm: “American Pickers” on History
“The Best Thing I Ever Ate” on Food Network
“Cake Boss” on TLC
“The Closer” on TNT
“El Espiritu de la Salsa” on HBO. Special presentation.
“Huge” on ABC Family
“Intervention” on A&E
“Last Comic Standing” on NBC. Two hour seventh season finale.
“Money Hungry” on VH1
“Rupaul’s Drag U” on Logo
“Top Gear” on BBCA
“Ultimate Car Build Off” on Discovery
“WWE Raw” on USA
9:30pm: “Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV
10:00pm: “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” on Travel Channel. Mr.Bourdain is heading to Dubai this week. I’m wondering if we’ll get any Sex in the City 2 cracks or if he’ll just choose to ignore it’s existence entirely.
“Dance Your Ass Off” on Oxygen
“Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives” on Food Network. Ninth season finale.
“Fabulous Cakes” on TLC. First season finale.
“The Hard Times of RJ Berger” on MTV
“Mystery Diagnosis” on Health
“Obsessed” on A&E
“Rizzoli and Isles” on TNT
“Scream Queens” on VH1
“Dating in the Dark” on ABC. Second season premiere. The concept of this show always seems like something that would only be amusing once to me, but hey, no accounting for taste right?
Late Night Listings
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Howie Mandel and Mike Posner
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Jada Pinkett Smith, Chris Harrison, and Luke Bryan
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Lindsay Sloane and Vampire Weekend
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Jason Bateman, Aubrey Plaza, China Chow and Menomena
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.