It’s either Gordon Ramsay night or Misery Night or, if you’re on one of Gordon Ramsay’s shows, it’s both! There’s also some season finales signaling the beginning of the August doldrums of television shows where everything is in reruns or some lame show that the network decided to dump at the end of summer because they knew everyone would be either too hot to care or busily making vacation plans since they just realized it’s goddamn August already. However, most of the season finales are for shows that I haven’t seen any chatter about here anyway (“Basketball Wives” anyone?) so I hope none of you are adversely affected. Anyway, here’s your Monday night TV:
8:00pm: “Bachelor Pad” on ABC. Three hour second season premiere. Wait, second season? I think my brain erased all previous memories of this show because I literally had no clue that it existed before right now when I saw commercials for it. And I must have known it existed because I’ve been doing this for over a year and a half now and the show premiered last August. Weird.
“Basketball Wives” on VH1. Third season finale.
“Eureka” on SyFy
“Giuliana and Bill” on Style
“Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox
“Michael Feinstein: The Sinatra Legacy” on PBS
“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family
9:00pm: “American Pickers” on History
“Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” on Travel. The location this week is just listed as “U.S desert” which is pretty vague. Over/under on eating rattlesnake? Just kidding! I’m pretty sure that’s a gimmie.
“The Bad Girls Club” on Oxygen
“The Closer” on TNT
“Norway Massacre: The Killer’s Mind” on Discovery. Uh… that was quick. I don’t know how I feel about giving this man’s demented and violent views a forum this large and respectable but that’s because I believe there is no justification for his actions and giving voice to his opinion seems to imply otherwise.
“Superheroes” on HBO
“Hoarders” on A&E
“Kate Plus 8” on TLC
“Masterchef” on Fox
“RuPaul’s Drag U” on Logo
“Single Ladies” on VH1. First season finale.
“Switched at Birth” on ABC Family. First season finale.
“Tia and Tamera” on Style. Series premiere. For everyone out there who was wondering whatever happened to those nice girls from “Sister, Sister.” All five of you.
“Warehouse 13” on SyFy
“WWE Raw” on USA
9:30pm: “Justin Hines: Days to Recall” on PBS
10:00pm: “The A-List” on Logo
“All Worked Up” on TruTV
“Alphas” on SyFy
“The Best Thing I Ever Ate” on Food Network
“Intervention” on A&E
“Pawn Star$” on History
“The Protector” on Lifetime
“Rizzoli and Isles” on TNT
“Surprise Homecoming” on TLC
“Teen Wolf” on MTV
“Weeds” on Showtime
10:20pm: “James May’s Road Trip” on BBCA
10:30pm: “The Big C” on Showtime
“Sugar High” on Food Network. Series premiere.
Late Night Listings
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Gordon Ramsay, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Panic! At the Disco
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Aziz Ansari, Chris Hanson, and Eric Church
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS is in reruns this week
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Rudy Giuliani, Adam Ferrara, and My Chemical Romance
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Mark Adams
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Nassir Ghaemi
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Michael Vartan, Mo Mandel, Arden Myrin, and Ross Mathews
“Conan” on TBS featuring Piers Morgan, J.B Smoove, and Imelda May
Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry which makes her sound more successful than she really is. You can read more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.