It’s the last of my Shark Week columns here and I know that most of you are going to be absolutely overjoyed about that. I mean, I’m still posting potential Shark Week theme songs over on my Twitter (Note: you don’t have to join Twitter to see those, they’re just there) and probably will be until Saturday night or I lose all my followers. Whichever comes first. Disappointingly, there are no first run Shark Week events on tonight, which kind of blows because it means I don’t get to list any of them. And I know that all the Shark Week stuff has probably been a little over done but seriously, what the hell else is going in in the first week of August? We’re hitting the worst part of the summer weather wise, there’s still about six weeks if not more till most of the good TV comes back and the summer movie tide is beginning to ebb. What’s wrong with getting kicks watching some predators that are so efficient that they’ve barely evolved in the last few million rip shit up? Anyway, here’s Thursday night’s TV:
8:00pm: “Big Brother” on CBS
“Michel Legrand & Friends: 50 Years of Music and Movies” on PBS
“The White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights” on Showtime. 90 minute special presentation.
9:00pm: “Burn Notice” on USA
“Police Women of Memphis” on TLC
“Project Runway” on Lifetime
“The Real Housewives of DC” on Bravo. Series premiere. The couple who gate crashed that White House event a while ago are in this show. That should really tell you all you need to know about it.
“Rookie Blue” on ABC
“So You Think you Can Dance” on Fox
“The Universe: Mars” on History
9:30pm: “The Pretenders - Live in London” on PBS
10:00pm: “Ace of Cakes” on Food Network
“Bethenny Getting Married?” on Bravo. First season finale. So does she get married or not? The question mark in the title has been bugging me all season.
“Boston Med” on ABC
“Come Dine With Me” on BBCA
“Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files” on SyFy
“Futurama” on Comedy Central
“Jersey Shore” on MTV
“NICU” on Health
“Penn & Teller: Bullshit” on Showtime. This week’s episode tackles that pernicious and destructive concept of self esteem. I mean, I feel like I get where they’re going with this given that I’m a member of a generation that’s frequently categorized as having a bit of an overage of self esteem so when we get out of college all fresh faced to land our dream jobs that abundance of self esteem based purely on praise for not fucking shit up entirely smacks into reality like a bird into a plate glass window. Still, there’s no easy answer, as I understand berating children constantly doesn’t really work out too well either. I tend to believe if your concept of self esteem is entirely based off how other people think you should feel about yourself, you’re probably doing it wrong.
“Police Women of Memphis” on TLC. Third season finale at a special time.
“Raising Sextuplets” on WE
“Royal Pains” on USA
“The Squad: Prison Police” on A&E. Series premiere.
“Stan Lee’s Superheros” on History. Series premiere.
10:30pm: “On the Road with Austin and Santino” on Lifetime
“The Squad: Prison Police” on A&E. A&E is becoming less “Arts and Entertainment” and more “Arrests and Enforcement.” Maybe they should change their name, that worked out so well for TruTV.
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Mark Wahlberg, dock diving dogs, Cory Kahaney, and V.V Brown
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Mickey Rourke and Plain White T’s
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Ice Cube, Melissa Rycroft, and Saving Abel
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Paris Hilton, Alex Dryden, and Fred MacAulay
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Denis Leary, Connie Britton, and Titus Andronicus
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Akbar Ahmed
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Savion Glover
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.