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Beyond Good Hair

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 17, 2010 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 17, 2010 |

I was born in the second half of the 80’s so most of my childhood memories are of the 90’s. As such, a lot of the remakes that have been happening don’t really hit my “They’re ruining my childhood!” radar even a little because until they try and reboot “The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers” I sort of shrug it off and go on my happy way. (Side note: I’m pretty sure it would be impossible to make a worse version of MMPR than the one that I watched as a kid. That damn show looked like everyone involved was paid $5 and given free lunch for their time, from the actors to the costume designers.) However, on the road towards remaking or rebooting everything that may have once had any sort of audience who was, at the time, dumb and stupid enough to give the new version a shot out of misguided nostalgia we are beginning to edge into things I can remember and it does make me a little sad. Tonight premiere “Melissa and Joey” which, from what little I have been forced to learn about it, is some variety of sitcom starring Melissa Joan Hart (better known as Clarissa who once explained it all) and Joey Lawrence (better known as that guy who said “Whoa!” on that show I didn’t watch with the girl with the hat). I find this unfortunate. Anyway, here’s the rest of tonight’s TV:

8:00pm: “Gates of Hell” on History. Two hour special presentation.

“Melissa and Joey” on ABC Family. Series premiere.

“Wipeout” on ABC

8:30pm: “Melissa and Joey” on ABC Family

9:00pm: “18 to Life” on The CW

“19 Kids and Counting” on TLC. I heard somewhere that Mrs.Duggar may be trying for another baby. I guess after that many kids it may feel weirder to not be pregnant than to be pregnant which is sort of a terrifying thought.

“America’s Got Talent” on NBC. Jesus, how long does this last?

“The Bad Girls Club” on Oxygen

“Flipping Out” on Bravo

“Hawthorne” on TNT

“I’m Pregnant And…” on Health. This week’s episode is “A Hoarder” so those of you Misery Night enthusiasts out there can tune in and enjoy the horror on a special night! Yay!

“It’s Effin’ Science” on G4

“Make It or Break It” on ABC Family

“Shaq vs.” on ABC. Shaq faces off against Rachel Ray in the first segment, I guess in cooking? Although I think of Rachel Ray as being better at coming up with asinine nicknames for food and kitchen products than she is as actually cooking food. So maybe it’s that.

“Swords: Life on the Line” on Discovery

“Warehouse 13” on SyFy

“White Collar” on USA

9:30pm: “18 to Life” on The CW

“Gene Simmons Family Jewels” on A&E

10:00pm: “Big Lake” on Comedy Central. Series premiere.

“The Colony” on Discovery

“Covert Affairs” on USA”

“Growing Up Twisted” on A&E

“Hair Battle Spectacular” on Oxygen. I watched this last week and it’s kind of fun in a completely over the top and ridiculous sort of way, but all the contestants have these nicknames that make me want to punch something. I might just have to watch it on mute to see all the crazy-ass “fantasy hair” they come up with while not having to hear people referred to as things like “Boss”, “Minista”, “J-Rok”, “Malibu”, “Sexi Lexi” and so forth.

“Memphis Beat” on TNT

“POV: Salt” on PBS

“The Rachel Zoe Project” on Bravo

“Rescue Me” on FX

“Scrappers” on SpikeTV

“Teen Mom” on MTV

10:30pm: “Big Lake” on Comedy Central

“The IT Crowd” on IFC

11:00pm: “Louie” on FX

Late Night Listings

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Justin Long, Juliette Lewis, and Five Finger Death Punch

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Dick Armey

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Barry Levine

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

DVD Releases 8/17/10 | I'm F**king Ray Bradbury | Suck it Silverman!

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.