Do you know what today is? It’s the first day of SHARK WEEK! A whole week full of seal chomping, chum spewing, great white leaping action over on the Discovery channel and I, for one, could not be happier. Shark Week always arrives just at that point in the summer when you’re seriously considering giving up on TV. “All the shows I like I can watch on the internet or get on DVDs through Netflix” you think “what’s the point of keeping up with cable?” Well, Shark Week is the point of keeping up with cable and for the rest of this week, Shark Week can be your reason for everything. When your alarm goes off you’re not getting up just for work, you’re getting up for Shark Week! When you’re debating whether or not to make a nice dinner for yourself but you’re not sure if it’s worth the bother, you’ll know it is because Shark Week is always worth the bother. Should you get that expensive micro-brew? Shark Week! And if you’re not a fan of Shark Week I’m going to warn you in advance that I’m going to be like this until it’s over. Here’s Sunday night’s TV:
7:00pm: “60 Minutes” on CBS
“Dateline NBC” on NBC
“Seeing, Searching, Being” on PBS
“Sons of Tucson” on Fox. Series finale. Well, that didn’t last long.
8:00pm: “Big Brother” on CBS
“Food Network Challenge: Ultimate Cookie Clash” on Food Network
“Hallelujah Broadway” on PBS
“Rubicon” on AMC. Two-hour series premiere. Last week they showed a “sneak peek” of one of these episodes after “Mad Men” and I watched it and thought “This is sort of like if someone took ‘A Beautiful Mind’ and mated it with ‘Conspiracy Theory.’” I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just my initial impression.
9:00pm: “Bridezillas” on WE
“Discovery Special: Ultimate Air Jaws” on Discovery. I bet this is all about sharks jumping and snatching things out of the air all “I’M A MOTHERFUCKING SHARK!” Now, not only is it not safe to go back in the water, it’s not even safe to be anywhere near it. I’m so excited.
“Drop Dead Diva” on Lifetime
“Ice Road Truckers” on History
“Leverage” on TNT
“The Next Food Network Star” on Food Network
“Ocho Cinco” on Food Network
“Scoundrels” on ABC
“Killer on Campus” on TLC. One-hour special presentation. Unless the killer is a great white in a reverse SCUBA suit preying on undergrads, I don’t care.
“True Blood” on HBO
10:00pm: “Army Wives” on Lifetime
“Into the Shark Bite” on Discovery
“The Gates” on ABC
“The Glades” on A&E
“Hung” on HBO
“Iron Chef America” on Food Network
“Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami” on E!
“Las Vegas Jailhouse” on TruTV
“Mad Men” on AMC
“My Boys” on TBS
“Max Raabe & Palast Orchester” on PBS
“The Real L Word” on Showtime
“Strange Sex” on TLC. It’s called “Balloon Fetish,” and if you had this, why on Earth would you agree to go on TV to talk about it? I mean, I’m not trying to shame anyone, but in this age of googling your date before coffee, do you really want this to be the first thing to pop (heeeee) up?
“The TO Show” on VH1
“Top Shot” on History
10:30pm: “Children’s Hospital” on Adult Swim
“Entourage” on HBO
“Holly’s World” on E! First season finale.
“Strange Sex” on TLC. First season finale.
11:00pm: “Russell Simmons Presents: Stand Up at the El Rey” on Comedy Central
11:30pm: “The Boondocks” on Adult Swim
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.