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Pajiba After Dark: No One Real is This Unrelentingly Wonderful

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 28, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | July 28, 2011 |

Television looks pretty sparse tonight but there’s a few gems in there. The “So You Think You Can Dance” crowd gets to worship at the feet of Cat Deeley again, and “Ancient Aliens” returns for people who appreciate crazy in its most well reasoned and researched forms. Seriously, everything they say makes perfect sense if you accept the basic premise of the show which is that aliens are responsible for all the parts of human history we can’t really explain. Obviously. OH! And “Project Runway” returns with it’s duel guiding stars of Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, who I really wish I could just hire for hilarious and wine soaked dinner parties. I’d start throwing dinner parties if that were an option. Here’s your Thursday night TV:

8:00pm: “So You Think You Can Dance” on Fox

“Wipeout” on ABC

9:00pm: “Big Brother” on CBS

“Burn Notice” on USA

“Expedition Impossible” on ABC

“Serving Life” on OWN. This is a documentary that goes inside Louisiana’s Angola prison where 85% of the prisoners will never again live outside its walls. The focus is specifically on the in-house hospice program where prisoners care for dying fellow inmates. Narrated by Forest Whitaker.

“Project Runway” on Lifetime. Ninth season premiere.

“Sweet Home Alabama” on CMT

10:00pm: “Ancient Aliens” on History. Third season premiere.

“Who Survives?” on Discovery

“Extreme Chef” on Food Network

“Futurama” on Comedy Central

“Jersey Shore: From the First Fist Pump” on MTV. I guess this is a run up to their next season where we get to watch them be denied admittance to all the cool places in Florence. I’d say the city shouldn’t have had to put up with such indignity, but considering the variety of products available with the David’s penis (occasionally altered to be cartoonishly large rather than comically small) printed on them I saw for purchase EVERYWHERE when I was there I’m feeling less sympathetic to their ‘taste’ objections.

“LA Ink” on TLC. Fourth season summer premiere.

“Rookie Blue” on ABC

“Suits” on USA

“Texas Women” on CMT

“Wilfred” on FX

10:30pm: “Louie” on FX

“Ugly Americans” on Comedy Central

11:00pm: “Watch What Happens” on Bravo

12:00am: “Children’s Hospital” on Adult Swim. They’ve staged this whole episode to look like a community theater production. I approve.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Kirstie Alley, Louis C.K, and Fountains of Wayne

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Matt LeBlanc, Freida Pinto, and Stevie Nicks

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Harrison Ford and Lady Gaga

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Lisa Kudrow and Ben Mezrich

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Julianne Moore, Dominic Cooper, and Beyonce

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Peter Tomsen

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Buddy Roemer

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Taryn Manning, Jost Wolf, Gary Valentine, and Matt Braunger

“Conan” on TBS featuring Jon Favreau, Jayma Mays, and Brett Dennen

Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry which makes her sound more successful than she really is. You can read more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.