I’ve spent most of my day in the presence of 10-13 year olds, outside, so my wit is a bit strained at this point since I can’t ask the children “Are you shitting me with this? Seriously?” after I’ve told them to stop hitting each other nine times in a row and see one of them leaning over to hit another one. I remember once telling my younger sister that should couldn’t just move into my apartment with me and start college early because 1. she hadn’t finished high school yet and 2. high school is where we keep teenagers until they turn back into humans. I should probably extend that to say that middle school is where we keep changelings until they better figure out how to act like teenagers. Here’s your Thursday night TV:
8:00pm: “So You Think You Can Dance” on Fox
“Wipeout” on ABC
9:00pm: “Big Brother” on CBS
“Burn Notice” on USA
“Expedition Impossible” on ABC. Bit of a defeatist title, isn’t it? If it’s impossible, then why bother? I think this is just another place where society has decided that “impossible” and “difficult and/or unlikely” are somehow synonyms and I’m being the stubborn stick in the mud who will ALWAYS point out otherwise.
“Swamp People” on History
“Sweet Home Alabama” on CMT
10:00pm: “Extreme Chef” on Food Network
“Futurama” on Comedy Central
“Love Bites” on NBC. First season finale.
“NY Ink” on TLC. First season finale.
“The Real Houswives of New York City” on Bravo. Fourth season finale.
“Rookie Blue” on ABC
“Suits” on USA. I love when these lawyer shows try to have a twist like “Oh! He never went to law school!” or “Oh, this lawyer is a dead model who came back into an overweight lawyer’s body!” except it doesn’t work because they’re still goddamn lawyer shows and all lawyer shows are basically the same, it’s just a question of whether they’re dramatic lawyer shows or kind of silly lawyer shows that still have dramatic moments because crime and punishment is serious business.
“Texas Women” on CMT
“True Life” on MTV
“Wilfred” on FX
10:30pm: “Louie” on FX
“Ugly Americans” on Comedy Central
11:00pm: “Watch What Happens” on Bravo
12:00am: “Children’s Hospital” on Adult Swim
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Harrison Ford and Porcelain Black
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Emma Stone, Adam Carolla, Rickey Minor, Grace Potter, Charles Bradley, Sharon Jones, and the Youth Orchestra of LA
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Stephen Moyer and Bush
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Bryan Cranston and Amos Lee
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Brooke Shields, Jeff Musial, and Ziggy Marley
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Scott Miller
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring David Eagleman
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Rose Byrne, Brad Wollack, Sarah Colonna, and Lavell Crawford
“Conan” on TBS featuring Lisa Kudrow, Rhett McLaughlin & Link Neal
Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry which makes her sound more successful than she really is. You can read more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.